TACIT

today officially marks the start of my final week ever as a student. that has a nice ring to it, i think. final. it feels so definitive. today i want to take take a break from all things me to focus on something new. i’m not sure exactly what i want to discuss, but hopefully i’ll have it figured out by the end of this sentence.

d’oh.

i have seen the future staple of the american economy. and that future, my friends, is Bling it On. for those of you who have not seen the commercials, let me lay it out for you. Bling it On is peel and stick crystals that you can use to customize pretty much anything you own. they specify that it’s great for cell phones and ipods, but the commercial shows little kids adorning random household objects with pounds of “bling.” perhaps this is because you receive 460 pieces of “bling” for a paltry sum. the top-of-the-line deluxe set is $19.95, with a free sticky heart. or, you can get the monogram of the letter “L” for $9.95. i guess people with names that don’t start with “L” are just screwed.

oh, have i mentioned that these are stickers?

who the fuck is going to pay $20 for a bunch of stickers that come in a customized “blinged out” carrying case? this is a joke, and not even a funny one. there are people out there who are buying this. shiny stickers applied to an object suddenly transform us into jay-z? IT’S TWENTY DOLLARS FOR STICKERS! in elementary school, we used to trade fuzzy stickers, or oily stickers—at least those had some unique quality to them. you could touch them and they were fuzzy, or oily. these aren’t even that interesting.

i also love how the starter kit is $9.95 and contains 460 pieces, and the deluxe set is $19.95 for the same 460 pieces but with a bonus heart sticker.