The Top Ten Reasons Why Girls Are Insecure

THE TOP TEN REASONS WHY GIRLS ARE INSECURE

10) dudes won’t touch them – because she’s ugly. some people are just born that way and never get over it.

9) too many dudes want to touch them – because she’s pretty. some people are born that way and they start to feel like objects and basically shit from fear every time a boy expresses interest.

8) she was too smart – the boys at school made fun of her cause she wasn’t ditzy like the other girls.

7) she wasn’t smart enough – the boys at school made fun of her because she spent several class periods in the resource room, (or neanderthal nook, as we used to call it)

6) her tits grew in too early – hey, somebody had to be the first in the class with boobs and it just happened to be her. she never got over the uncomfortability around boys. she thinks they’re too big and we’re always staring at them. in reality though, we’re only staring sometimes. only sometimes.

5) her tits grew too late – hey, somebody had to be the last in the class with boobs and it just happened to be her. she never got over the uncomfortability around boys. she thinks they’re too small and we’re always staring at them. in reality though, we’re only staring sometimes. only sometimes.

4) her dad touched her – it sucks, but it happens. say a prayer for the molested.

3) her dad fucked her – this is slightly more awkward than touching. only slightly.

2) her sister was prettier – ohhh… so that’s why the boys always wanted to come over.

…

1) the media – until this point my list has been an utter joke (i think?). but, let’s be honest for a second. the media has constantly redefined “beauty,” for centuries. from the hourglass figure to the full-grown woman to the heroin chic… the methodology for looking attractive has continually shifted. through these shifts though, there has been one constant: media’s ability to force feed the public said definition, thus leading to mounting self-consciousness and depression amongst many, many, perfectly normal folks. this goes for both women and men. it is impossible to turn on the television, go to a movie, or open a periodical without being affronted by the sheer magnitude of articles and advertisements that inherently tell us all that we are not good enough. let’s try to steer ourselves away from the mentality where we need to cut down, bulk up, whatever it takes to seek that ideal image… and have lots of sex with me.

that was my attempt not to sound like a high school health teacher.