AVARICE

Remember several months ago when I talked about the plight of the impending college graduate who is constantly faced with “What are you going to do next year?” questions? Well, to no one’s surprise, he’s now being constantly asked, “How’s the book coming along?” questions. Sometimes I wonder if, had I not told anyone I was trying to write a book, I would not face inquisitions everywhere I go.

This morning I had an appointment (because I’m generally unhealthy) and I was asked THRICE (how often do you get to drop a “thrice” bomb) about the book. Then I came in to work and faced another two inquiries. It doesn’t help that I come home at the end of every day and friends/family are asking for daily reports whenever I pick up the phone or bump into someone in public.

I hate describing the process, mostly because “the process” entails me sitting around biting my fingernails down to their bases, pulling out my hair, drinking in excess and then maybe typing up a few paragraphs. I’m still looking for that comfort zone where I find a groove and gain confidence in my ability to tell a story. It’s a learning process, and like any learning process, it’s a learning process. Ya dig?

So if you talk to me, please don’t ask how it’s going.
If you see me out, offer me a drink or some food.
We can talk about sports or culture, but not what I’m doing.

On the plus side, everyone I talk to says how they can’t wait to buy a copy or “get a signed copy.” I guess that’s nice, if not an obligatory compliment or optimistic notion. I’m also planning on giving copies to everyone I know for their birthdays and on holidays. Every year. For as long as I’m alive. Cheapest boy ever.