THE TOP TEN BOOKS YOU TELL PEOPLE YOU’VE READ (YOU HAVE NOT!)
10) Anything by Bukowski – People often romanticize the works of alcoholic authors, often overlooking some terrible flaws because it’s hip to be sloppy and mad. You’ve never actually sat down with a copy of Ham on Rye, but you tell just about everyone [...]

I thought it might be difficult to wake up this morning, but I arose surprisingly early this morning. Last night I hung out at Ilya’s place with Z and we pretty much just dicked around for a few hours. Ilya–having been marginally intoxicated and decidedly jet-lagged–was quoted as saying this morning, “I don’t remember anything [...]

Good afternoon. Thank you to whomever decided they wanted to pay me $130 for my Nintendo. That’s quite a piece of Evan-related memorabilia you’re about to own. Also, you’ve gone a long way toward paying for a new (and most-definitely superfluous) guitar amplifier. Thanks, anonymous Canadian person!
Last night I drove into the city, found parking [...]

Hey. Time is running out! Buy something that once belonged to me…These things are going to be priceless someday. And I don’t mean that in the valuABLE sense, but in the valueLESS sense.
I think it’s hilarious that the nerdy goons who created TheFacebook turned down a $750-million dollar offer for their website–they’re looking for two [...]

As seen in a fever dream, 2006. “It starts because you owe him something. Or, more likely, he has given you something and now you must return the favor. I’ve heard stories–I can’t attest to their validity or anything…There was a guy who used to go around to different colleges and hang out at big [...]

My God. The month of March is just about over! Where has the time gone? Also, can anybody please tell me, where have all the cowboys go-o-one? On an unrelated note, I’m sitting here at my computer and to my direct right there is a nearly empty bottle of water. The other morning I got [...]

I decided against seeing Jackie-O Motherfucker last night at the last minute. I arrived in the city at about five o’clock and suddenly realized that I’d rather spend what little money I have to see Magnolia Electric Co. and Destroyer on Tuesday than a band I’ve seen three times and are very hit or miss. [...]