Cricket in a Wine Glass

A lot of Fox News personalities get on my nerves, but there’s one man whose asinine behavior actually forces me tune in some mornings just to see whether or not he’s dead yet. He’s a field correspondent named David Lee Miller, and I am endlessly fascinated (and irked) by his constantly finding his way into serious trouble. It’s not Geraldo-drawing-maps-denoting-troop-locations dumb, because Miller doesn’t draw maps, he only dictates precise troop locations. Last week, I woke up one morning to him being shot at by Israeli soldiers in Gaza. You can watch it here. This morning I wake up, and there’s Mr. Miller on TV again, in his goofy blue PRESS jacket, standing–quite literally–on the border of Israel and Lebanon. And, of course, within five minutes, rockets are flying over his head and he starts freaking out on air. As his camera crew films Israeli troop/tank formations along the border, Hezbollah-fired rockets are landing just a few hundred yards to his right and left. There is no doubt in my mind that this guy is going to die in the field, and if this progression of retarded behavior is any indication of his future, I say he doesn’t make it another two weeks.