I think I was going to be able to share with you the premiere of the new video cast from The Best Podcast You Have, but a link broke in our procedural chain, and now I’m left empty-handed, with no topic of discussion. Have no fear, I’m used to improvising generally humorous topics.
I’ve been slacking recently with my long-running Craigslist performance art piece (fake personal ads), because I’ve been using the site for its unintended purpose: browsing apartment and job ads. In the next week or so, I’ll have the mental wherewithal to begin anew with a series that will confound sexual mores with frighteningly ill taboos.
In the meantime, please enjoy these two ads from the first installment:
So, in conclusion… m4w – 30
Yes, yes I know it’s a funny way to start a post, but as far as I’m concerned there’s no argument. If you’re looking for a funny, smart, clever, hilarious, feel good, high-energy, tear-jerker, that takes you on a crazy edge-of-your-seat ride through the world of dating and turns it into a crazy world of “hating” when we suddenly realise we’re totally incompatible, then you’ll love me.
I am:
Tall, male, virile (is that the word that means “can-impregnate?” or the one that means “very”?), a bit on the thin side (also a bit on the retarded side), I like to talk, but I’m not going on and on like a broken record. I’m a jack of all trades that shoots from the hip and is a straight shooter.
You are:
Attractive, smart, music loving, caring but not obnoxiously so, gregarious but a little shy, adventurous, doesn’t judge a book by it’s cover, but isn’t “bookish.” Know thyself, but don’t be so introverted all the time. You should not be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. You aren’t afraid to call a spade a spade. Be truly genuine, but not superficially genuine. You have time on your hands to spend with me, but aren’t unemployed and calling, like, eighty times a day. Have your head on your shoulders, where it “belongs,” please. If you think you have what it takes, buy the ticket, take the ride, but make sure you wear your seat belt. A chance of a lifetime like this only comes once in a blue moon.
The Real Thing… m4w – 17
I’ve had a lot of Internet girlfriends in my life, dating back to my teenage years surfing the ‘net for young ladies. Counting the Internet, I’ve probably had about 450 girlfriends. Now I’m 17, and ready to try the real thing. We can go out for pizza and beer, and then make love in real life. Not just online.
Leave a comment