I hate doctors offices. The people are always much more sick than I am, and it makes me worried that I’m going to contract whatever illness they have. Then I spend three hours in the waiting room with these people, like the kid who won’t stop vomiting mucus or the girl who turns away from [...]

I like how TIME magazine has an article called “Should Schools Fingerprint Your Kids?”. Apparently in Boulder Valley, Colorado, kids pay for their lunch meals via fingerprint. That’s not what I thought the article was going to be about — I thought it was going to be about actual fingerprinting, in the presence of police [...]

What’s wrong, Ry-guy, people stopped taking you seriously because they realized just how unoriginal your sound is?
My God, CNN has resorted to sharing tales of social networking geeks finger-banging each other?
I just finished a conversation with a friend who is moving to a new neighborhood, and I mentioned how the local hang-outs and eateries in [...]

Fans of the Quake franchise, rejoice. It appears that maybe…just maybe…the US Army has a new secret weapon: the ray-gun. That’s right, kids, no longer relegated to toy bins across the nation (and James Iha’s Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness tour effects rig), the ray-gun is supposedly ready to officially join the arsenal of [...]

As previously stated, I received a small cache of albums from my good friend Sam with explicit instructions to review them on this page. Since you don’t know Sam (you should, he’s smart and funny!), you don’t know how Sam’s mind works. These weren’t just any albums, they were National Socialist Black Metal albums. This [...]

Scientists at Oxford have made a mathematical study that seems to prove the existence of parallel universe. So says the prestigious news source “The Press Association,” which I’ve never heard of until right now and will probably never hear from again. It sounds like the name of a fake business that wants to make money [...]

In my attempt to transform Swan Fungus into Ken’s vision of a website devoted entirely to my annoying Top Ten lists (he wanted me to rename this page Evanslist), I bring you yet another list from an outside source that I will analyze and critique. Leave it to MSNBC’s Today Show to tackle the topic [...]