Conspiracy Theories, Droughts, Losers, Vaginal Rejuvenation, Japanese Noise Rock



By Evan ~ September 15th, 2007. Filed under: concerts, world news.

• A catastrophe is approaching, people! Repent! Repent! Information Liberation reported on the 27th of August that an entity or individual is betting on massive dislocation to occur in the market before September 21st, to the tune of $4.5 billion. The same type of bet was placed six years ago on all the airlines which were targeted on September 11th, 2001, but information was never released as to who placed that bet. According to the website, “clearly someone knows something big is going to happen before the options expire on Sept. 21.” They go on to predict either a massive terrorist attack that would tank the markets, or China is going to “dump US currency and tank all of Capitalism with a Communist financial revolution.” Yeah, whatever. Doubtful. We’ll see what happens. We’re six days away. Everybody panic. [story]

• This just in from ABC News: A drought in Kentucky is taking its toll on their marijuana crop. Last year police eradicated 488,502 plants (worth nearly $1 billion), and this year they have only found 299,220 plants. In other news, the government must be really angry that they don’t get a cut of that billion dollars. Angry enough to…say, continue fighting a battle they can’t win? [story]

• Leave it to CNN to write a story about how winning $315 million was the worst thing that could ever happen to somebody. This poor, rich asshole is crying about how he doesn’t have any friends, and that “even money can’t cure cancer.” First of all, the reason you don’t have any friends is because after winning all that money you drank and you gambled and you philandered. You were involved in 460 legal actions, and by the looks of things you pretty much deserved them all. Second of all, maybe money can cure cancer. How about you give the $93 million lump sum you received and donate it to cancer research, asshole. Don’t fucking gamble it away or drink it away, don’t let friends borrow from you, do something constructive and quit feeling sorry for yourself. I sure as hell don’t. [story]

• Sarah Barry, your article has the cutest, most awful headline I’ve ever read. She says social networking websites have gone “from mainstream to ‘lame’stream!” Hahahahahaha. I didn’t read the article, but I can guarantee you, she isn’t saying anything that hasn’t been said about Facebook and MySpace that hasn’t been said millions of times before. People have short attention spans. Bring on the next new thing. [story]

• This just in from MSNBC: Vaginal rejuvenation is both unnecessary and unsafe. The article states, “Many women don’t realize that the appearance of external genitals varies significantly from woman to woman.” What, you mean women don’t also whip out their genitals in public restrooms and sword-fight their friends just to sneak a peek at their gear? I guess they really are from Venus! [story]

• Man Takes Pictures of Tokyo Skyscrapers For 35 Years, Puts Them Into 10-Second Stop Motion Clip. [story]

• TIME, the magazine responsible for lists pertaining to every single topic imaginable, has tackled the 100 Best TV Shows of all-TIME (get it? it’s punny, right?). Noticeably absent from the list: Home Movies, Futurama, CSI, and The Pick-Up Artist. [story]

• A review of 400 scientific papers has drawn the conclusion that eating organic food is not necessarily healthier for you. Even though organic advocates claim that there is more nutritional value in organic products, oftentimes these compounds are naturally occurring pesticides, which can be dangerous to handle or consume. One study followed the growth of plums on adjacent organic/conventional fields, and the latter actually contained 38% more beneficial compounds than its organic counterpart. As far as sustainability is concerned, “An 11-year farming experiment by the U.S. Department of Agriculture in Beltsville, Maryland, compared crops grown three ways: conventional tillage, organic methods, or no-till. Compared to the conventional tilled plot, the organic plot was likely to hang on to 30 per cent more soil. But compared to the organic plot, the no-till plot hung on to 80 per cent more soil.” So, there you have it. Shopping at Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s isn’t worth it, even if their prepared foods are really, really delicious compared to the TGI Fridays mozzarella sticks and Tombstone pizzas offered at your local chain grocery store. [story]

I went to The Smell last night to see Pocahaunted and Suishou No Fune. I skipped the first band of the night. Pocohaunted sounded really nice with the addition of a drummer (electronic drums) and one of the fellows who plays in Robedoor. I think. Ilya said they sounded like a “No Wave Cranberries”. A band called Ancestors blew my ears off with their low-end heaviness. Expect good things from them. Their sound falls somewhere between The Melvins and Harvey Milk. The guitarist plays through one of the vintage EH Octave Multiplexer pedals into a Matamp Blue stack that was deafening. I couldn’t decide if “Melvins Milk” or “Harvey Melvin” was a better name for them. Suishou No Fune were equally loud, maybe even louder. The drummer from Ancestors joined them as they meandered their way through two songs over the course of an hour. The difference between them and Ancestors was that Suishou No Fune’s sound, while being absurdly loud, was also very trebly and grating. I had to leave after a while and listen from the front room. The quieter parts were quite beautiful, as I anticipated. I picked up a copy of their tour-only CD. It’s really good.

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