Space Race, ‘Tweens, Ovaries, Lists, Drugs, Fat People, Legos

• Oh man, it’s on now. An estimated NASA timeline shows that the U.S. will be testing its first spaceships in two years, making the first panned flight of Orion in 2014, landing the first four-person crew on the moon in 2020, and establishing a moon base in 2024. In response, the Russians have come up with their own plan. They’re going to send a manned mission to the moon by 2025, and establish a permanent base shortly thereafter. Apparently they originally wanted to join forces with the U.S. and establish a joint base in 2024. But we said no. This story begs me to ask, who’s going to win this race? Why do we care? And, will any of this even happen? [story]

• Girls today are starting to dress like sluts earlier and earlier. Here’s a story about an 11-year-old who is being told by MTV she needs to look like a stupid slut. There’s a picture of an awesome girl’s t-shirt that reads, “I left my brain in my locker” that highlights the insanity. It reminds me of when I was in Joliet, Illinois and I stopped at a dollar store for some cheap soda. They had little purses for little girls on sale there, and each one had sparkles and colors and messages like “I [heart] Stuff” emblazoned on them. I didn’t take the time to read this whole article, because I’d rather cut my eyes out than read about pre-teen shopping habits, but I’m sure it’s really funny. [story]

• In case any of you ladies were planning on having your ovaries removed, you might want to think twice about it. A new study suggests that women who have their ovaries removed before menopause run a higher risk of developing dementia or other mental problems later in life. Another study shows I’ve never used the words “ovaries” or “menopause” ever on this blog, and unless I plan on marketing myself to the Regis and Kelly crowd, I probably never will again. Old people scare me. [story]

• I hope my dad doesn’t read this. Smoking kills. End of story. [story]

• A guy who runs a website totally devoted to lists (remember Ken’s idea to start a page called Evanslist where I just make up absurd Top Ten lists every day?) made his list of the ten albums whose influence outweighed their sales. I completely agree with the inclusion of the self-titled Velvet Underground album (in fact, I included it in one of my lists, either best albums pre-’83 or underrated albums), the Nick Drake record, the Kinks record, Robert Johnson and The Stooges. I don’t know about The Pixies album, though…which bands did that album influence, and are they even any good? I doubt it. The only people I know who like The Pixies are bland college kids. [story]

• MYTH: Marijuana is Harmless.
FACT: …According to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, teens who use drugs are five times more likely to have sex than those who do not use drugs.

…See kids? Drugs can be really, really good! [story]

• Remember at the beginning of the week when I called you all “fatso”? There was a reason for that? Obesity rates climbed in 31 states last year and not a single state showed a decline in the number of overweight citizens. In Houston, Texas, perhaps the fattest city in the world, the folks at the Houston Zoo often get requests for MRI or CT scanners to examine obese people. Why don’t we put them all in a zoo, laugh at them, and guilt them into developing eating disorders so those fuckers will finally lose some weight. It’s not impossible to put down the Twinkies, people. [story 1, story 2]

Oh, that picture at the top? It’s a dragon made out of a million Legos.