Ew. What Is This, A LiveJournal?

You have to love pre-6:00am wake-up days. I’m trying to be a trooper and just plow through without succumbing to slumber, but for somebody who normally wakes up several hours later, the transition to “morning person” isn’t that easy. I’ve already almost fallen asleep twice on the couch trying to complete an unfinished crossword puzzle. On the plus side, I got to watch the sunrise while driving to the airport, which Nicci remarked “looked like the inside of a seashell.” I couldn’t have come up with a better description. The drive back sucked, I was stuck in traffic on the 110 for entirely too long. Downtown looked especially beautiful with the sun hanging so low in the morning sky.

I joined Phoebe and her mom at Millie’s for brunch a few hours later. Hilarious. Apparently she showed her mom bits of my writing and a meeting was requested. I felt a little awkward imposing my presence on their weekly routine, but I told her mom something to the extent of “I never miss an opportunity to have my ego stroked.” Laughs were had in abundance. Phoebe put me on the spot and asked me to come up with three things I loved and three things I hated about her mom. I came up with two reasons to like her and two to hate her, but the only one I remember now is that I hated how she flaunted how much more money than me she has by paying for my meal. I didn’t say one inappropriate remark about penises or vaginas the whole time! See, I’m capable of being taken out in public, and I get along just fine with old(er) folks.

I returned home and checked my e-mail to find that my guitar amplifier and cabinet, along with all my effects pedals, were delivered to the wrong address. My father, who happens to be a member of Mensa International, completely butchered the delivery location. I guess the old adage about people with genius IQs having less-than-no common sense holds true with that guy. I had to drive to Bell to seek out the package — which wasn’t even there — then drove around looking for FedEx “Home Delivery” trucks to try and find the one FedEx employee who was following his route without a cellular phone today. It was not a fun afternoon.

I returned home desperately wanting to consume a bottle of Andre, but House of Spirits is flat-out of the good stuff, so I’ll have to find some other way to spend my afternoon. Perhaps some sort of opioid…

Thanks for listening, Diary. You’re my only friend! I think I’ll go go pass out on the couch with a puzzle book and a warm blanket.

Hey, Ilya sent me this photograph of Phoebe and I (I’m the one with the exposed chest) from Halloween, and I don’t remember it ever being taken! Consider this, like, the calm before the storm. Because once Nicci’s pictures hit the Internet I’m going to have to crawl into a hole and die. They really are that incriminating.