Loading ...On Recent Events, Whales From Deer, And World Orgasm Day
By Evan ~ December 19th, 2007. Filed under: daily life, world news.
Here I am again, cat-sitting. Madison (the cat) is laying on my lap between me and my computer. He is purring incessantly and kicking my arms away from the keyboard with his paws. Also, he’s biting my forearms. I have to work tomorrow, Friday and Saturday. I shouldn’t be here. I should be on the road. Matt’s driving from Tucson back to the East Coast and all I want right now in life is a nice, long roadtrip through a part of the country I’m not familiar with. Actually, it’s a toss up. All I want right now in life is either a nice, long roadtrip, or a really good blowjob…or tailler une pipe, if you’re French. Wait…actually, I think that means to give a blowjob. Somebody help me out here for the love of God!
Pretty much the only states I’ve yet to visit are the gulf coast states (and Alaska and Hawaii). I would have gone with Matt, if it were not for this past Monday, when I got a fateful call from an employer asking if I wanted to come and work for him. With one phone call the dream died. Now I may never get to visit El Paso, New Orleans or Birmingham. Maybe once I get fired I can scrounge together some money and take a nice coast-to-coast drive. Jesus, I’m already thinking about getting fired. That can’t be good.
On top of all that, here’s a story about how whales and dolphins perhaps descended from deer. I know, it’s blowing my mind, too. I mean, look at a whale and look at a deer and tell me you see any similarities whatsoever. What’s next, we’re going to discover that the turtle descended from the lion? I don’t think so, science!
Oh, yeah, and Friday is World Orgasm Day. “Amorous Folks the world over are encouraged to engage in the horizontal hanky-panky on the same day across the globe.” I use quotation marks because I would never dare use the term “hanky-panky.” I prefer “mash uglies” or “foxtrot-unicorn-charlie-kilo”. Anyway, apparently this worldwide holiday occurs at 5:08pm Australian time, which works out to be 3:09am EST Thursday night. Heed this warning: you’d better partner up quick, or you’ll end up just like me. And this is not the kind of holiday that’s acceptable to spend alone.
December 21st, 2007 at 6:34 am
next time i go to new orleans im going to drive. flying is stupid. you can come if you want.