It’s one of those things you don’t really expect to happen because it seems so completely outlandish…but I found myself watching “The Moment Of Truth” on FOX last night. The premise of the show, as I understood it at the time, was that people sit down and answer 50 or 100 personal questions about their lives. Then they’re called out onto a stage in front of so correctly, the contestant can win up to five-hundred thousand dollars. Like I said, it was a relatively quiet night. I was trying to get some writing done, Nicci was reading a new book, and P.G. Six’s Parlor Tricks And Porch Favorites was spinning quietly on the turntable. When Nate sat down and said he needed to watch this new reality show on FOX, we non-chalantly agreed and kept about our little projects. It wasn’t long before we realized that we were completely hooked.
The network had been promoting the shit out of last night’s episode because it was going to “destroy a marriage”. The producers did their part to amp up the audience’s nervous excitement by having the show’s host (Mark Walberg) make two post-show-recorded announcements about the “graphic nature” of the upcoming segment that he felt was too personal and too awful to air on national television. Then they went and showed it anyway, complete with audience taunts and “woot”s and all manner of catcalls. It was probably the most classless thing I’ve ever done, watching a poor family have to endure their insufferable daughter’s desire to try and cleanse her slate in a very public place, in front of a massive crowd.
If you don’t know what happened, if you haven’t read about it on the Internet or if you didn’t see the endless series of commercials advertising this particular episode, a stupid trashy blonde girl pretty much ruined both her and her husband’s lives. Maybe those of her mom, dad and sister, too. The commercials implied the big payoff would be derived from a question — presented to the contestant by an ex-boyfriend — asking whether or not she would leave her husband if the ex wanted to rekindle their romance. That wasn’t the most shocking moment. The sister, sensing what answer was coming, quickly chose to “pass” on that question. So the ex-boyfriend asked a replacement question of the same difficulty. It was, “Do you believe I am the man you should be married to.” Unable to not answer that question, the contestant said, “Yes.” And her answer was deemed to be true. But it went further. That awful, cringe-worthy moment came when the constant revealed she had cheated on her husband during the two years since they have been married. Meanwhile, the poor husband has been sitting not ten feet away from her, forced to take it while he was (metaphorically) shit on in front of the entire world. To make matters worse, the girl decided to keep going and answer more questions. And you know what? The dumb fucking bitch answered the next question wrong, ensuring she went home with no money, and an entirely disappointed family. I can’t begin to imagine just how quiet that ride home was.
Apparently when the contestants are given the pre-show quiz, they’re hooked up to a lie detector and that is used to decipher the real answers, which are checked against the answers given by the contestant once they film the episode. So when the dumb bitch said “Yes, I think I am a good person,” and the answer turned out to be “false,” it wasn’t that she answered “No, I am a bad person” on the pre-show quiz, she just inherently hated herself and failed the lie detector test. And can you blame her? Even I hate her, and I don’t even know her. But I hate everyone, so that’s not exactly a startling claim.
These reality shows have gotten way out of hand. Each season it seems like producers can’t sink any lower (Temptation Island -> The Joe Schmo Show -> My Super Sweet 16 -> Rock Of Love -> The Pick-Up Artist -> The Moment Of Truth), and then they outdo themselves. It actually sickens me when I think about how people greedily imbibe these programs while actually desiring more shows of a lower standard. I can understand the relation between shit like “The Moment Of Truth” and Jerry Springer, and last night’s episode really blurred the lines between two normally different kinds of television garbage, but the fact that reality shows or talk shows perpetuate this notion that it’s entertaining to watch people’s lives tampered with is revolting. I don’t want to come off like a Puritan or anything, but for fuck’s sake can’t somebody in power with even half a brain put an end to this shit? It’s pathetic. It’s direct evidence of our complete and utter stupidity as a nation. It’s the reason why nobody ever talks about how the United States is a trillion dollars in debt to the rest of the world, or how foreclosures rose 57% last month, or how 43% of students surveyed don’t know when the Civil War was fought, but can identify Britney Spears as a pop star). We’re too busy worrying about politicians’ personal lives instead of their platforms. We’re too busy browsing the web for hot celebrity gossip instead of reading and writing books. And we’re too lazy to change the fucking channel when shit like “The Moment Of Truth” is on.
Why the hell don’t people see that things aren’t going to get any better without some sort of enterprising ideas?
We should all just stop watching reality TV…
And watch LOST…
And give each other lots of hand jobs.
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