President Evan (center), Vice President Mike M (left), Mrs. Speaker Ilya (right)

My fellow readers. It is time again for our annual State Of The Blog Address. On March 10th of this year, Swan Fungus (nee Communications Major / English Minor) turned three years old. It has been a perilous thirty-six months filled with a seemingly endless number of roadblocks, but here we are, still going strong with no end in sight.

During year number one, this blog averaged 175 visitors per day. One the day of its second birthday, this blog averaged 233 visitors per day. Last month, an average of 625 people saw this page daily. I’d say Swan Fungus is making great strides in becoming the foremost website devoted to Evan LeVine. No other page on the Internet (save maybe a MySpace or Facebook profile) offers a more comprehensive tome than this one. The past year has featured a relocation to Los Angeles, a cross-country drive and excursions to far-off lands like San Francisco, San Diego, Las Vegas, and Joshua Tree. I became a fan of Death Metal. I drank and blacked out on [almost] a nightly basis. There were adventures in dating. I heard a great number of exciting new bands. At this very moment, I actually have both a steady job and a girlfriend. Oh yes, we’ve come a long, long way since March of 2005.

As your fearless leader, I assure you that 2008 will be more Evan-centric than any year yet. Just this week I’ve taken on sacred cows like Carls Jr. and Vampire Weekend. I vow to remain steadfast in my defaming of much-ballyhooed “indie” artists, major corporations, and sundry public figures. Will I waver in the face of criticism (in the form of negative, slanderous comments or e-mails)? Nay. I will march on, intrepid and confident.

2008 will be a year of firsts for Swan Fungus. You’ve already experienced some of my these new ideas, like the “Treasures From The Collectors Slum” series, which gives you the ability to download high-quality full albums that are currently out-of-print. I also anticipate many guest-blogger posts this year. That’s right, for the first time since its inception this page will feature somebody else’s writing. As I stated on March 10th, 2006, this blog wants to become a communal affair. A design overhaul is currently in the works. The newer, cleaner, prettier Swan Fungus will be unveiled in the very near future. By the way, if any of you readers know a thing or two about CSS (the computing language, not the shitty band you hipster faggot!) please contact me. It would really help expedite the redesign process.

Be not frightened, my beloved reader, the changes will not be that drastic. Letters To No One will still focus on exposing shoddy business practices and outing annoying public figures. Once the official Swan Fungus combination printer/scanner is installed, Product Reviews will return. Yes, even This Week In ‘Indie’ Rock will soon return, complete with the atrociously Photoshopped pictures you have come to expect and love. Now that I’ve upgraded to Photoshop CS, I can’t wait to see how I’ll make a picture of Connor Oberst crying look new and exciting. Daily MP3 downloads from artists whose ideologies match my own will continue. Without question, Friday Top Ten will remain a regular feature. Several lofty goals are already in the planning stages, including Top 100 bands and Top 500 albums lists.

The language will remain crass. Newcomers will undoubtedly peg me as a crotchety old man and a misogynist (isn’t that right, Ashlea?). After all, on the surface nothing has changed after three years and 1,087 blog entries. Those of you who have been here since the beginning have endured a lot. The best is yet to come, trust me. The state of our Blog is GOOD!

Ponytail – Start A Corporation
The Narrows – Stride
Crystal Stilts – Crippled Croon
Monroe Mustang – The Bees

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