Prepare yourselves for even more utterly stupid, wildly popular YouTube videos. I have to admit, I only use YouTube when I want to watch a particular sketch from Mr. Show or The State, or when I desire to see a live performance of a band that broke up in the ’70s. So, I don’t know much about the star-making power of the website, the most frequently watched videos, or why people get so enamored with watching retards acting moronic or people getting hurt. Quite frankly, I think it’s very “Ow! My Balls!”, and I’m embarrassed by it. Nevertheless, you (not me) can expect to see a lot more videos from untalented performers in the not-too-distant future, thanks in part to the folks at Microsoft.
New Scientist is reporting that new software from Microsoft promises to provide frustrated songwriters and crooners with instant musical accompaniment to their singing. The program, MySong, is to designed specifically to “let a creative but musically untrained individual get a taste of song writing and music creation,” says developer Dan Morris. That’s just what the world needs. More untrained retards singing off-key, fronting a made-up band. Sounds to me like karaoke but instead of people butchering famous songs, they’d be butchering songs that do not deserve to exist outside of the “creator”‘s head.
The way it works is, it creates a file containing the sequence of sung notes, then it uses “chord probability computation” to conjure a musical backdrop that will match the sequence. I wonder how it will account for the world’s tone-deaf population.
You can read more about it by reading the New Scientist’s article, but like I’ve said, I’m sure you’ll be quietly giggling to yourselves while watching a new generation of bad talent perform heir hearts out (sometimes ironically?) on YouTube in no time. And it will still be the “Ow! My Balls!” of our generation. I wish I could join in on the fun, but I’m over here in “reality,” where shit like homemade YouTube videos are stupid wastes of time. Enjoy the stunningly careless, devoid-of-intelligence, “The Marching Morons” life you’ve cast upon yourself.
PS – My soda pop-less existence lasted eleven days. After waking up at 5:00am on Saturday, I realized very quickly upon arriving at work that I was going to need caffeine to make it through my seven-hour shift. I didn’t have any pills on me, so a bottle of Coke was my only option. Oh well. I also had a soda last night at dinner, but it was to help combat a headache that did not disappear until the wee hours of this morning. Had my life continued along its short-lived soda-free path, I would have greatly appreciated the link to an “Add Flavor to Your Water” article Ken e-mailed me. And at some point I would have tried to include a Yerba Mate drink in my liquid diet. Once you get past its sort-of-gross earthiness, that stuff tastes pretty good.
April 7th, 2008
werd. i should have emailed you sooner.