Hey online friends, “what’s up”?

Me? I guess I’m doing fine. I have a gnawing pain in my stomach experts or scientists would probably define as hunger, and I have a lot of little errands to run today before work, but other than that I can’t complain.

I guess you’re all hear because you’re waiting for me to talk about the Mets, right? You want to know how it feels to be obsessed with a sports team at a time when that team literally could not be performing at a lower level. You might even be expecting some sort of hilarious diatribe in which I proclaim to have burnt the miniature Mets bat I got at my first game in 1988 as a sacrifice to the baseball gods, so that they might bring the team good fortune.

Oh…you’re just hear for the free mp3s? Those are at the bottom of the page. See you tomorrow, I guess?

I have no idea how to fix the baseball team, that’s why I’m not the general manager of a sports franchise. But I’ve watched enough games this year — I’m a masochist — to clearly see that this team is, well, not all that good. I wouldn’t say my level of frustration has reached where it was during the last month of last season, but the sustained lackadaisical play has actually lulled me into a comatose, emotionless state. I sit on the couch bathed in the television’s warm, glowing, warming glow, and I imagine I look like how Kyle looked while watching The Passion Of Christ on that episode of South Park. [1st Inning] [5th Inning] [SNY Post-Game]

I’m always looking ahead, though. I don’t care about how the team is 79-83 in their last 162 games. Numbers that spans two seasons are completely irrelevent because the only win-loss record that matters now is this season. The team is 23-26, and they’re 6.5 games out of first place. That’s by no means insurmountable. The Yankees are 25-26 and 6 games out of first place. No one expects them to remain in last place all season. If the Mets can rip off six or seven games in a row (that’s a somewhat conservative expectation for a winning streak) they’ll be in much better shape, the media attention will be quelled, and the players can begin to relax. Tonight Johan Santana pitches against an overachieving Marlins squad whose flirtation with sustained winning streaks should conclude any day now. As cliche as it sounds, taking one or two games from a first place team can start the ball rolling. What was that quote from Major League…”Ok, guys. We’ve won two games in a row. If we win tonight, it’s called a winning streak. It has happened before.”

Winning games is simple. Hit well, pitch well, catch the ball. Each day I tell myself, “today’s the day the Mets will do all three”. Maybe today is that day.

- If you haven’t already noticed, the site underwent yet another redesign last evening. I know I suck, and can’t stick with a color scheme for more than three months, but people were complaining that the white-on-blue was hurting their eyes, so I went with something softer…something nicer…something gayer. If you like this pattern, you can tell me so in person, as I will be making an appearance at the Crate & Barrel on Highway 46 in Bluffton this weekend to sign autographs and deliver a lecture entitled “Duvets For The Y Generation”.

| | del.icio.us | Digg it! | Furl | reddit | StumbleUpon