• The first official review of Futurama: The Beast With A Billion Backs has been published, and it looks very positive. According to the article, it’s a much more adult-themed movie, but it will not be in the vein of Family Guy or South Park. The one problem I have with this review is that it hailed Bender’s Big Score a success, when I found it to be sub-par. The story was fine, but it felt like they were trying too hard to impress devout Futurama fans. That’s not unusual with television programs when they return from a long hiatus (see: Family Guy), but I’d still rather watch slightly worse Futurama than other programs that have been downright awful since they started airing new episodes (see: Family Guy). I must admit, the thought of watching Zoidberg “joyfully vomiting from both his seawater and freshwater stomachs” sounds hilarious. [story]

• Oh my God, this is incredible. If you are one of the few Swan Fungus readers who have described me as being misogynist, you need to read “Eleven Tips On Getting More Efficiency Out Of Women Employees,” from 1943. Apparently girls a little on the heavy side are more even tempered and efficient than underweight girls! It helps to give women definite day-long schedules so that they’ll keep busy and not bother the management for instructions every few minutes! Girls need adequate rest periods during the day to allow for feminine psychological issues! The list goes on, each successive tip more hilarious than the last. [story]

• WIRED has come through again with a brilliant article detailing the best never-used weapon systems in the world. The list includes items such as the “Davy Crockett Nuclear Bazooka,” which would be a nuclear recoiling rifle that was actually deployed in Europe during the Cold War. [story]

• The Sun Chronicle reports that during this…um…”economic slowdown”, people are dining out less frequently (I almost said “eating out”, but I think dudes are eating girls out just as frequently now as they were before the…um…”economic slowdown”). The reason, of course, is rising food prices. Sure, $4 gasoline might seem like a real bummer, but apparently the cost of bacon was up $6 a case in one week! Which begs the question, WHY IS EVERYBODY TRYING TO KEEP MY PRECIOUS BACON FROM ME!? Personally I think it’s part of a vast Vegan-wing conspiracy. [story]

• Forbes has finally gotten into the whole “Top Ten” thing, just a shade under three years since I started the “Top Ten” revival. They’ve published a list this week of the top ten Nintendo Wii games. Are you reading this Nate? Tom? Nicci? Anyone? The list includes “Critter Round-Up”, “World Of Goo”, “Strong Bad’s Cool Game For Attractive People” and “Major League Eating: The Game”. Personally, the last one sounds fucking incredible. According to Forbes, “Perhaps the first officially licensed game to hit WiiWare, “Major League Eating” simulates the art of stuffing hundreds of hot dogs into your gullet. Flick various consumables into your mouth with the Wiimote and mash on a button to chew, but watch out for choking, vomiting and teeth grinding. Oh, and you can also exude various bodily gases to distract your opponent (both in the game and in real life).” [story]

• Someone named Gina Lanier, or a website called Gina Lanier, has published “the best ghost photos ever taken.” I don’t believe in ghosts, but these are worth a look if you’re one of the believers. [story]

• If. You. Wonder. Why. I. Never. Smile. It. Is. Because. Smiling. Can. Hurt. Your. Health. [story]

• Reminder: Two of my LPs are up for auction on eBay. Bid now and help me pay rent!

Rachel’s – Forgiveness – (buy this album)
Man Or Astroman – Mermaid Love – (buy this album)
Tricky – Black Steel(buy this album)
Danzig – Godless – (buy this album)
310 – Truce For A Moment – (buy this album)

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