Thank you Bennett, for your donation! You even included a little CD-r, which was totally unnecessary but much appreciated. Now I can use your money towards my first phone bill, or that new phono cartridge I have to order. All the ‘Thank You’ notes should be finished by this time next week, I hope…They’ll all be mailed on the same day.
After a week of film reviews (and no Top Ten, sorry!), today is going to be laid back and brief. It looks like a beautiful day outside, and I have to go to work, so here are some of the weirdest, most interesting, or dumbest news stories I came across this past week! Now with even more editorializing by yours truly!
• According to researchers at McGill University, when it comes to flirting, men “just don’t get it.” Social psychologists took 724 college students involved in serious relationships, and put them through a series of tests to determine whether men and women react differently to people flirting with them. One experiment was a meeting with an “available, attractive alternative” followed by the discovery that their partner had done something to irritate them. The response of the men was to get angry, while the women became more loving and affectionate. Apparently we men just don’t understand relationships. I can’t help but think that the article’s author, Trish Crawford (how come below her byline it says “LIVING REPORTER”? Does The Star often publish articles from deceased reporters?), is a woman. She’s probably a man-hating feminist who wants to embarrass our species because she was scorned by a lover in the past. This article and the study are totally biased towards women. “Available, attractive alternatives” don’t exist for men, because most women sit back and wait to be approached. When an aggressive woman flirts with a man, of course we don’t “recognize the danger presented by the attractive flirt” like women do. We’re too busy thinking about her tits. Look, I don’t remember what my point was, but it was a good one. I got lost thinking about tits. [story]
• In an unrelated-related article, we stupid men are picked on again by a female journalist, who also needs to brag about how she’s a doctor of medicine. Whatever, bitch, good job on being a woman and a doctor. Here’s a cookie. “Dr.” Pam Spurr says “touching shouldn’t always mean sex,” which apparently it does for all men. And how true it is. Pretty much any time someone brushes against my arm or bumps into me on the street, I’m thinking about bending them over and fucking them. I mean, who wouldn’t do that? Oh, right…women. Women never think about fucking. They’re virtuous and chaste, and their poop smells like roses. If a man bumps into a woman on the street, and he turns around and smiles at her while saying “Sorry,” she’s not thinking about swallowing his load, she’s thinking about that pair of shoes in the window display behind him. Men are such pigs! We can’t take a simple cuddle from a woman as a sign of affection without wanting to punch her in the face and rape her. Too bad Hillary Clinton isn’t our president. If the most powerful person in the world was a woman, I would not have to feel bad about putting down women all the time. [story]
• Do dead people watch us? Apparently they do! When I was a younger man, living at home, I used to have this horrible paranoia sink in every time I was loving a woman or loving myself. Try as I might, I could not shake the feeling that I was being watched by a dead grandparent. It didn’t prevent me from getting off, but it definitely freaked me the fuck out, and I probably acted “cold” and “distant” after sex. Lucky for me I’m a man, so its expected. Right ladies!? [story]
• Finally, CNN publishes an article that has some value and substance. A kid form Rhode Island was charged in a drunken driving crash that left a woman seriously injured. Two weeks later, he was at a Halloween party dressed as a prisoner in an orange jump suit with “jail bird” written on it. Someone posted pictures of him on Facebook, the prosecutor found them, and now this testament to the overwhelming stupidity of mankind will be subject to brutal rape and beatings in prison for the next two years. How fucking stupid can a person be? I hope somebody attacks him with a shiv and cuts his dick off while he’s on work detail in the prison yard. If this dumbfuck is allowed to spawn…I would seriously fear for the future of mankind. These are your social networking peers, people. Is your MySpace / Facebook persona really worth it? [story]
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