Loading ...This Flea Problem Of Mine (And An Earthquake!)
By Evan ~ July 29th, 2008. Filed under: daily life.
Just as Nicci and I were opening a can of whoop-ass on some fleas that may or may not be nesting in my bedroom, the walls and floor of my apartment began to rumble. It was an earthquake! The quake itself and the aftershocks were much stronger and more-easily felt than the one I experienced last summer. According to the research center for recent earthquakes in Los Angeles, it registered a 5.8 magnitude. Upon its completion, a good number of sirens could be heard outside. We stood and said “cool” for a few moments, then we set off the bug bomb and left my bedroom. It’s no certainty that there are even fleas in this apartment. No one here owns any pets. Fleas don’t usually migrate a few miles from one destination to another on the hairless foot of a host (me), and immediately begin spawning massive number of offspring. I…just want to be cautious. I tend to worry about things. I’m what non-Jews call “neurotic”. I’ve been getting bitten up over here and I don’t know what the hell is causing it. Bug bomb.
About fifty seconds after the aerosol spray started filling the room, I realized I’d left my car keys in there. Now I have to run in there and find the keys so I can drive to work and look like a good employee for showing up after a moderate-strength earthquake to see if everyone is okay. If you don’t hear from me in a few hours, I was overcome by toxic fog. Holy shit, that would make an incredible epitaph. I’m going to give you all (as a collective) power of attorney over my estate (that is, the lint in my pockets and my record collection). You can fight over the collectable and rare records after you make sure my headstone says, “Here Lies Evan LeVine. Overcome By Toxic Fog”.
Busy, busy day. The website now says there have been 16 recent earthquakes in Los Angeles, in the last 23 minutes. Whoa.
