I’m not sure how many of you have been reading this page for a while, but some of you may remember last summer’s “The Great Chili Cook-off That Never Was”. 368 days ago, I tried to attend the Beverly Hills Farmer’s Market Chili Cook-off. I showed up too late, and lamented my misfortunate for longer than I should have considering I didn’t have a job or anything to do that day anyway. Nevertheless, when I saw this past week that somebody had Google’d “Beverly Hills Farmers Market Chili Cook-off”, I got to thinking that maybe it was an annual affair. Turns out it is! I planned my entire weekend around being awake and in Beverly Hills this morning by 9:00am. I would not be too late for the fucking chili cook-off this year. I’d eat all the chili I could in 60 minutes, and then go to work for the day. Chili breakfast. Mmm mmm good.
This year’s chili cook-off was a veritable Who’s Who of Hollywood stars and pop culture icons. For starters, I was there. Also, Party Of Five‘s Scott Wolf. I’m pretty sure I saw Steven Spielberg too, but I didn’t see any black children running circles around him, so I can’t be totally sure. I marched down Civic Center Drive like a man on a mission. When I reached the end of the row of vendors, I hung a left and saw exactly what I’d expected to see: a row of chili vendors as far as the eye could see. Thirty feet, maybe. There were two rows of booths, each booth contained four or five stations that were designated for each chili. I watched some of the chefs chopping vegetables, stopped to read the recipes for chili dishes with exciting names like “Beer & Bourbon Chili”, “Check Your Butt Chili”, and “Chili Recipe”. On my first pass, there were no samples ready.
I walked back through the market, looking for more people to photograph, but I only came across a bunch of Beverly Hills wives who looked like they’d just stepped out of a weekly meeting for plastic surgery addicts. I returned to the scene of the chili cook-off and watched as more of the contestant chefs labored over hot plates and cutting boards, or chatted with partners and family members. Still no samples. I checked my phone and saw the time was almost 9:30am. The first pangs of fear crept into my body as I reminded myself that I needed to leave by 10:15 if I wanted to make it to work on time. I made another lap around the farmer’s market and returned to the chili booths twenty minutes later. I’d even eaten a bagel and grabbed a soft drink to help pass the time. Still no chili. Starting to sweat from nerves, I made my way over to a booth and asked politely when the chili would be ready. I was told, “sometime after eleven o’clock.” My heart sank. For the second year in a row, I’d be missing the Beverly Hills Farmer’s Market Chili Cook-off. I felt like how a girls feel when dudes like me never call back after we say we will. I was heartbroken. What a terrible, horrible way to start my day. I mean, I’d driven all this way to blog about a chili cook-off, and all I have to show for it now is a creepy picture of the gay guy from Party Of Five. Way to go, Evan.
And now, a Sunday Mix Tape.
RULES for uninitiated noobs: With 100MB of webspace, I give birth to a weekly Mix Tape to be deposited on your iPods or Zunes or Kingklangs or whatever the industry is currently pushing on you. Sometimes there will be themes that link all the songs together, other times I’ll just throw songs at a wall (not literally) and see what sticks. This week’s theme is music to enjoy while in a “no chili” depression. As always, these songs will be removed if desired by the band or those who represent them. Let me know and I will gladly comply. The goal of this endeavor, as always, is to pique your interest in these artists so you’ll support the artists and buy their albums.
Sunday Mix Tape 104
No Chili Blues
01. Chris Brokaw – 1000 MPH – (buy this album)
02. Unwound – Demolished – (buy this album)
03. Gerard Manset – Mon Amour – (buy this album)
04. Del Shannon – Gemeni – (buy this album)
05. Giant Sand – Get Ready – (buy this album)
06. Boards Of Canada – ’84 Pontiac Dream – (buy this album)
07. The Aerovons – She’s Not Dead – (buy this album)
08. A Tribe Called Quest – 8 Million Stories – (buy this album)
09. Herbie Hancock – Dolphin Dance – (buy this album)
10. Red Sparowes – A Message Of Avarice Rained Down And Carried Us Away To False Dreams of Endless Riches – (buy this album)
11. TwinSisterMoon – The Solar Cross
12. Part Chimp – Fasto – (buy this album)
13. Mike Cooper – Too Late Now – (buy this album)
14. Iannis Xenakis – Voile
15. Baby Grandmothers – Being Is More Than Life – (buy this album)
16. The Wipers – Mystery – (buy this album)
17. Angels Of Light – The Family God – (buy this album)
18. DOPO – Under the Windings Of The Sea
19. Landing – It Is Shining – (buy this album)
20. The Zombies – The Way I Feel Inside – (buy this album)
21. 310 – Black Acres – Dear Resistance – (buy this album)
22. Marissa Nadler – Silvia – (buy this album)
23. Shalabi Effect – Imps – (buy this album)
24. Storm And Stress – And Third And Youngest Unnamed – (buy this album)
25. Ilyas Ahmed – Light Grows Thin
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