In my new role at work, it is my duty to check the condition and price most of the records that pass through the store. By that I mean ensure the condition of the vinyl is up to standards, and note whether or not inserts are or are not included. Sometimes, weird shit turns up while processing record collections. Newspaper clippings, photographs, money and even drugs have both been found tucked inside album sleeves by my co-workers and bosses in years past. Although my co-worker found a manifesto from a college student to one of his professors detailing a government plot to murder him in an LP years ago, the funniest bonus item I ever discovered was a magazine advertisement for bongs that was stuffed inside a Little Feet LP. Until yesterday, of course…
I was processing a rather dingy collection of albums, most of which were either immediately discarded or at best priced at $2.99, when I came across a copy of of Jerry Garcia’s 1972 “classic” (if you like shitty music) album Garcia. Tucked away inside the sleeve were three tri-folded pieces of old-school fax paper. I removed the papers and began reading what appeared to be a letter. At first I thought it might have been an official insert, so I took the letter to my supervisor. He said, “No way,” and then proceeded to read the letter aloud. It didn’t take long for me to realize…”Jackpot!”
Here are the three pages, each one followed by its transcription. I have left all spelling errors are grammatical/slang choices intact. Enjoy!
Hello, I Miss you CHICK. So I Rolled on Saturday & before the last time was with you. I went to my first part-e it was in San Bernandino, we got there at like 9:30, left at 6:40. I took 2 Double Mitsues, oh fuck, there was sooooo much fuckin shitty ass heroin in them, I puked after my second one, But for a while I was dancing & feeling pretty good, But then again at one time I was curled up in a ball like â†’ next page
like you were that one time at Mike’s, on the couch & then we went and sat in the bathroom for the whole night & told Mike straight up what we thought of him. Yeah so, it was so insainly crowded, there was only supposed to be 15000 people & there was 27 THOUSAND people, & there was so many fucking Japanese people there, but they were all SUPER DUPER FUCT â†‘, it was so weird, the whole night was weird fugin shit, I went with Vanessa & Jon, Aimee [last name withheld], Marisa [last name withheld], Josh [last name withheld] & Nicole. We lost Aimee within the first 15 minutes of being there, I didn’t see Jon or Vanesa all night, lost Nicole after an hour or so, but me & Marisa found everyone sooner or later. Yeah, throw this letter away after your done w/ it. So my body is so tired, I missed a hole nights sleep & I slept super shitty on Sunday, I was so over tired that I couldn’t sleep anymore, it was horrible. My back sux, I saw Cory there, with his girlfriend, he looked so so so good, yeah FUCK TOMAS â†’
he still hasn’t given me my $ or my bud, & whenever I see him, he acts like he doesn’t even know me, & my brothers called him like 3 times, cause it was half of his $, I’m over him, but its the principal, even as a friend thats just FUCT. Brianna & Richard got Buddahs, I was so jealous, cause those are basically pure & I’m over feeling all cracked out, I’ll never forget fucking sitting in the bushes w/ Ryan, seeing a Christmas tree with snow on it, or was it a dumpster, I 4 got, but YEAH hard fucking core man. Yeah I kinda want this guy, but so does Nicole, & me & him are really different, but he’s hot, so yeah, how are you? Weve had some trippy times my friend, I think if you would’ve stayed here, we probably would have fried our brains to mush by now!!! Theres so much time left in here it’s terrible. Biology Fourth period lags lags lags. Well darling, I love you so much & I hope we live our lives together one day.
I love you,