So You Want To Wear Your Favorite Blogger’s Face
By Evan ~ February 5th, 2009. Filed under: daily life.

Hi. It’s Evan. I was thinking a few weeks ago that I wanted to make a t-shirt for my mom’s birthday with my face on it. Why? Because I’m so utterly consumed with myself that I would make my own mother wear a t-shirt with my face on it. I could say that the gift would be a way for her to cope with her baby son living 3,000 miles away, but that would be a lie. I just really want to feel like, “Here’s a shirt for your birthday. It’s got my smug face spray-painted on it. Now own it, bitch.”
Yesterday Nicci and I went to Target for some cheap Fruit Of The Loom t-shirts. Then I printed out a photograph of my face that I contrasted and altered to be pure black and white, and she cut it into a stencil. Finally, we took our cans of spray paint and experimented with different patterns and styles. All told, we made nine shirts (three small, three medium, three large). They came out so well, we decided that we’re going to make some nicer ones using American Apparel shirts and maybe roll-on fabric paint (or maybe spray paint, to give it that hip D.I.Y feel?) to offer on this here website blog. Since I only really needed a shirt for my mother and three other shirts for friends, I’m going to offer the remaining five prototype Swan Fungus shirts for sale along side the official “Collector Scum” shirts that will be available for purchase shortly.
I have one Adult Small, three Adult Medium, and one Adult Large shirts left with the prototype “Evan” logo on it. If you would like one, they cost $7. They are first come, first serve. E-mail me what size you want and I’ll respond with how to make a payment. They’ve already been washed, so the colors should not fade. I’ve never tried to sell an article of clothing before, so I’m not sure what other details are relevant to such a pitch.
Be the first on your block to wear a shirt with the face of a complete stranger on it. When people ask who it is, you can roll your eyes and act like they’re fucking morons. You can pretty much make up a story for who I am, and someday I’ll be like Paul Bunyan, with all these mythical tall tales surrounding my name. It’ll be amazing. Let’s make it happen.





February 5th, 2009 at 11:40 pm
i dont suggest roll on fabric paint. spraypaint works and is cheap and you can get cool gradients. if you want something nicer get a jar of silkscreen fabric paint and dab it on through the stencil with a sponge, then iron the thing so it won’t fade. my 2 cents
February 6th, 2009 at 9:43 am
Are you sure that’s you? It looks more like Luther Blissett!
February 6th, 2009 at 10:23 am
This Roberto Benigni T-shirt will surely chase the Guevara T’s right out of the Now.
I do like your face on a shirt.
February 6th, 2009 at 10:50 am
sooo cool. i’m pretty proud of this
February 6th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
How come I email you and you don’t tell me yea or nay? I understand 7 am on the east coast is still the night before for you, but at least let me know. I figure I wear it inside out and it’s like you’re actually here with me, like you’re talking to our baby, our baby growing inside me.
February 6th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
i’ll take a pair of nicci’s panties with your face painted on it. how about it?
February 6th, 2009 at 8:25 pm
I think you missed the proverbial marketing boat when you didn’t realize the money making opportunity of Evan Levine jizz rags, emblazoned with your image. Goddamnit.
February 14th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
[...] left to be purchased. Just over a week ago, I introduced you to the shirts with the blog post “So You Want To Wear Your Favorite Blogger’s Face”, and now supplies are running dreadfully low. All that remains are three size Medium shirts and one [...]
January 22nd, 2010 at 10:36 pm
[...] I’ve made away to people who hear about them or see one and instantly want one. You remember the Official Swan Fungus t-shirt, right? Well, all you have to do to win the contest is ask me for one, take a picture of a [...]