I heard an advance promo copy of the new U2 single today. The first two verses sound really heavy with a fuzzed-out bassline and little Eno-ist bloops and bleeps, with Thom Yorke’s horrible caterwaul turning everything to shit. Then the chorus (or pre-chorus, I stopped listening right there) sounds exactly like Queens Of The Stone Age covering Muse. It was so fucking surreal and bad I was forced to turn it off and attempt to convince myself I’d never really heard it. The fact that I’m writing this right now is proof that Bono and his horrible band are so powerful (in a terrible way), one cannot forget having heard their wretched music.

The New York Times ran a disheartening article this week about Musicians and brands and marketing, which infers that the only reason people are starting bands nowadays is to get their songs into commercials or television shows or movies. How pathetic. It touches on the story of that guy Chris Brown who recently had a hit with his song “Forever,” which was original composed for a Wrigley’s gum commercial. Like I said, pathetic. I just think it’s despicable and a shame that so many creative people — or, should I say, people with creative ambitions — don’t have souls. [story]

According to some science/news website that looks like a ripoff of CNN’s website, the US military is going to be “half machine and half human” by the year 2015. I guess half-machine, half-human hybrids are way closer to happening than I thought they were when I wrote this (see 2nd paragraph) and this (see last paragraph). [story]

Some famous blogger saw a UFO. I can’t help but think if I saw a UFO, no one would believe me. They’d click onto my website and read about all my tales of banging loose women and hating minorities and they’d instantly try discrediting my story. I could have the clearest, highest-resolution photograph of a UFO in the history of mankind and no one would believe me. People would be like, “that guy called Billy Corgan a lumbering retard!” and no one would recognize the photographic evidence. I don’t even believe in UFOs! I’ve said that on this page for years, and even if I saw one and I became a believer, no one would put any faith in my story. I guess I’m just not a famous-enough blogger yet. [story]

Professor David Nutt, chairman of the Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs wrote in the Journal of Psychopharmacology, “Drug harm can be equal to harms in other parts of life. There is not much difference between horse-riding and ecstasy.” He bolsters his claim by citing more than 100 deaths a year occur as a result of horse-riding accidents, and up to 30 deaths a year occur as a result of ecstasy use. Others claim “ecstasy can and does kill unpredictably. There is no such thing as a ’safe dose’.” The article doesn’t mention the effects ecstasy has on one’s ability to craft a mix tape, which is something I feel is crucial to understanding the power and danger of this Class A drug. [story]

The ten most miserable cities in America have been announced! Why isn’t Los Angeles on this list? Oh, right, I forgot for a moment how hard it is to judge the level of miserableness in a city filled with superficial assholes who are too consumed with how they’re perceived by others to actually show the world how they really feel. The most miserable city is Stockton, CA, home of wuss-rock/sadcore pioneers…uh, Pavement (ha! I made a funny!). Chicago is number 3, but it gets really, really cold there! They have an excuse! Modesto, CA is number 5, I guess because they still haven’t gotten over the Laci Peterson story. Flint, Michigan is number 6 on the list, but that’s where Michael Moore is from, so can you really blame those miserable people? [story]

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