So You Want To Be A Blogger?

March 30, 2009

I took my laptop to the Apple store today, and the diagnosis wasn’t so cheery. If my computer has cancer, it has the kind of cancer that costs a lot of money to cure. It’s not “Guess what, you’re gonna die!” but it isn’t “Guess what! This is, like, JV Cancer” either. My computer needs a new keyboard. I think it costs $150 to replace. The part they need is on order, so on Wednesday I have to go back to drop my precious baby off for surgery. With any luck, the little tyke will be as good as new in three days. If the “genius” nerds at Apple can’t fix it, they’ll send it on to Apple headquarters, where Steve Jobs himself will masturbate furiously to my collection of animal porn. That will cost me $310, but his seed will magically fix whatever is wrong. Seven days later, the computer will be sent back to me, literally covered in his precious bodily fluids.

So, I’m going to be without a computer for up to a week! I guess I could always try to sneak in a blog entry or two from work, or suffer through closing pop-up warnings on Nicci’s PC every three minutes, but where’s the fun in that? I’d rather offer you the chance to blog for me.

Yes, you read that correctly. Anyone who wants to write an entry for Swan Fungus this week can do so. All you need to do is e-mail me your idea for a post (it can be about anything, it could include MP3s or not, it’s entirely up to you), and I will choose at random seven people to have their posts published on this page. I might not end up needing all seven, but that’s the most I will possibly need. Think about it — for one week, you’ll have the opportunity to have your own words and ideas visible to thousands of readers! This could be your big break! God, I hope enough people volunteer so that I actually have to choose the best of the bunch. Otherwise…uh oh.

Like I said, there really aren’t any rules. If you want to post an album for download, make sure it is out-of-print. If you want to share a travel story or photographs, make sure the files you link to are hosted on a reliable server. Other than that, you have free reign. Don’t disappoint me.

So, what are you waiting for? E-mail me. If you’re chosen, I will respond with a day and time (you know, like a deadline?) for you to post, and give you all information you will need on how you can sign into WordPress and actually publish your entry. I’m excited to see what you freaks and perverts come up with, so put your thinking caps on and get to it!


  1. buttafuoco

    …uh oh

  2. |

    Um, would the “blogger” have to fill a certain word count?

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