• Perhaps unsurprisingly, Super Mario Kart has been voted “the most influential video game in history” according to the folks at Guinness World Records. Although many video game fans are shocked, shocked by the selection, it’s hard for me to find fault with the decision. Mario Kart is by far the greatest and most consistent video game franchise I’ve ever encountered. Of course, I’ve really only ever enjoyed playing Madden, NBA Live, Triple Play/MVP/Baseball 2K_, and Mario Kart, so really it’s not like I understand the arguments for any other video game that’s ever been manufactured. But I know I’ve always loved Mario Kart, and it makes me happy to see the game receive such a lofty accolade. Of course, the entire list of “most influential games” is a bit retarded. John Madden football isn’t on the list, Mortal Kombat isn’t on the list, Donkey Kong isn’t on the list, Wolfenstein isn’t on the list…maybe Guinness has a bunch of retards working for them, but I’m not going to argue Mario Kart as the #1 choice, even if the first installment was released seven years after Super Mario Bros., which is ranked 16 slots lower than the racing game. Oh well. [story]

• As if the record industry needs another reason why the number of illegal music downloads is increasing, here’s a news story about a Japanese CD that sells for $100,000. Why? Well, it is packaged inside a platinum “jewel case,” which is literally bejeweled, as it has ten two-carat diamonds mounted in it. And no, this isn’t the handiwork of some Japanese jeweler looking of headlines, or a private party who just wanted to create the most expensive album of all time, this monstrosity has actually been overseen by Universal Music, which is trying to win its way into — wait for it — the Guinness Book of Records. WIRED claims the entry will be located under “World’s Most Tasteless Obsolete Technology”. Zing! [story]

• The third and final world record-related news item of the day comes from a little website called MyDeathSpace dot com. A twenty-three year old man drowned while trying to prove how long he could hold his breath underwater. Oops. [story]

• While on the topic of douchebags, check out the hetereosexually-challenged fratboy assholes on this website! [story]

• Last, but certainly not least, the first Swan Fungus reader Watchmen review has been submitted. Here’s what one of you nerds had to say about the movie in an e-mail I received this morning:

Jeez…if you’re going to see Watchmen, I wish I could watch you laugh. It starts off strong (even with the music choices, which rather earnestly point out the film’s apparent allegorical nature, that it somehow is making a statement about how our society had heroes and how we venerated them), but it then proves to be about a half hour too long, containing one too many make-out scenes (none should have been included), and being a little too graphic in the gore/violence department. And what the hell did we need more faulty Beowulf-esque animation for? I’m referring to Billy Crudup as Dr. Manhattan. You couldn’t just paint this good actor blue and film him? I am one of the undoubtedly few people who didn’t read “the most celebrated graphic novel of all time” before seeing the film (I tried, but stopped a few pages in because the art looked like porridge to me). And it took me a few hours to even begin to reconcile or gain any perspective on the final act of destruction that occurs. So anyway, a few mildly evocative moments of artistic interest couched with lots of laziness.

So there you have it. Anyone else want to submit a review?

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