• Earlier this week I had a very brief discussion with Vegan Nick about some of the more popular theories regarding Shakespeare’s identity. The very next day, CNN ran an article titled, “Unique portrait from Shakespeare’s life unveiled”. Apparently a 400-year old portrait was kept anonymously in an Irish home has been confirmed as the only painting of Shakespeare created during his lifetime. I guess that dispels the rumors that he was actually Francis Bacon or Christopher Marlowe, right? [story]

• Twice before I have shared links to stories about robot/human interactions, specifically as they relate to love. First I found a story where artificial intelligence researcher David Levy hypothesized, “Around 2050, the state of Massachusetts will be the first jurisdiction to legalize marriage with robots. A year later, I found a story where experts argued that an increase in robots “could lead to lack of human contact.” Just like in that episode of Futurama where society fell apart because boys could date robots with celebrity looks and personalities downloaded into them, and the reproductive cycle ceased to function! Eight days ago, IGN ran a story about a robot named Kenji. Kenji was created by researchers at Toshiba Akimu Robotic Research Institute, and he was designed to replicate complex human emotions. Scary. Very scary. Keji began to develop a close bond with a doll, which he would hold and embrace for hours at a time. Then he took a liking to an intern, and his love for her grew so incredibly that he would physically prevent her from leaving him by standing between her and the door. Yeah, we still have a long, long way to go before we get robots straightened out. Until then…DON’T DATE ROBOTS. [story]

• What do you do when when a dark intruder breaks through your bedroom window at 2:00am? Well, if you’re me you’re most likely not in bed because you’re playing Wii at a friend’s house, but maybe you would be frightened and shit yourself, and maybe your natural instinct to protect yourself and your loved ones would compel you to kick the shit out of the intruder. That’s what Canberra, Australia native (ironic name alert!) Beat Ettlin did when an intruder smashed through his bedroom while he was in bed with his wife and 9-year-old daughter. As it turned out, the home invader who broke into Beat’s house was a kangaroo. He battered it, tackled it, put it in a headlock and wrestled the poor, frightened animal all the way to the front door. Then he shoved it out into the night, leaving it bruised and scared and wondering what the fuck just happened. What kind of man beats the shit out of a scared creature? I guess we all learned the answer to that question today: an Australian. [story]

• Trent Reznor doesn’t have very nice words to Twitter about Chris Cornell. “You know that feeling you get when somebody embarrasses themselves so badly YOU feel uncomfortable? Heard Chris Cornell’s record? Jesus.” Although I haven’t heard Scream yet, I have heard the new Superdrag album — apparently they got the band back together — and I know exactly how Reznor must have felt when he wrote that tweet. Which reminds me: What the hell is the big deal about Twitter? I’ve tried using it for a few weeks now and I don’t understand what the fucking purpose is? Can somebody please tell me? What. Is. The. Point? [story

• Good news, Metal fans! Varg Vikernes is being released from prison! You know, Count Girshnackh? Burzum? Surely you know who he is. He was one of the earliest Norwegian black metal artists, and then he murdered Mayhem guitarist Euronymous (Oystein Aarseth) and was sentenced to 21 years in jail. Well, after serving 16 years of his sentence, he has been granted parole. Isn't that exciting? Upon his release, Vikernes plans to move onto a small farm with his family. He wants to write a couple books and record a few more Burzum albums. Maybe he won't kill anybody else, maybe he will. Who knows? [story]

• Since 99 percent of the species that have ever lived on Earth are extinct, it’s pretty safe to assume that a lot of those creatures were pretty fucked up looking. So Discovery Earth’s website is running a list of the ten strangest beasts to ever die. I’m kind of partial towards the Giant Ground Sloth. What’s your favorite? [story]

• News-a-rama is running a story about The Science Of Dr. Manhattan. Since it is most definitely Watchmen-related, this article should come with a “For Nerds Only” disclaimer. Consider this a disclaimer. [story]

• Dracula fish shows baby teeth! [story]

• Vampire discovered in mass grave! [story]

Grouper – False Horizon
Land Of Kush – The Light Over The Ranges
The Carter Family – John Hardy Was A Desperate Little Man
City Center – This Is How We See In The Dark

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