Taxes, The Farmer’s Market, The Mets and $100 Pants

I hope everyone got their taxes in on time. My return was…well, it was a sad affair. I’m getting exactly $56 dollars back from the government. I was hoping for a lot more, but some weird stocks my grandfather bought me (even though I never met him) must have performed well, because I should have gotten back way more than fifty bucks. Luckily I used my Jew powers to save Maryn almost $3,000 last night on her taxes. Silly girl didn’t know about form 2106! She transformed from crybaby to “thank you Evan baby,” in…like, a half an hour. I only wish I’d been able to take my $56 and turn it into $3,000. I didn’t even make a deduction for travel expenses when I flew home for the WFMU Record Fair! What a dumbass I am!

Not that it matters, I already spent two times my refund amount on a pair of jeans. Why? I don’t really know. My girlfriend convinced me they “looked good,” and I buy roughly 1/4 of one articles of clothing a year (before this, the last article of clothing I bought myself was a hoodie in 2007), so I figured it was time for something new to wear.

The purchase was made at one of those fancy pants (not literally) stores at the farmer’s market. Lunch was jambalaya, which I’d never eaten before. It was good! It had a nice kick to it. I tried to locate the Brazilian barbecue place there, because I hear it’s the best Brazilian food in LA, but I could not locate it, and I’m too proud to ask strangers for directions in an area that is smaller than a football field. The old lady at the soda shop was really cute and pathetic at the same time. I asked what the best root beer was, and she pointed to one called “Rat Bastard,” then said she couldn’t say the name aloud because customers always think she’s saying bad words about them. Also, she was clearly wearing a wig because she had white hairs sticking out from beneath it. Which is pathetic. Even old people in LA are hyper-image conscious. East coast old folks age gracefully. At the worst, they wear too much perfume or makeup. But here they wear wigs. It’s sad. What are people going to say when she dies and they show up at her viewing and see a totally different person? I hope one of her grandchildren looks at her lifeless corpse and says, “Why didn’t Nana always have white hair? I like it!” Then the kid will spit on her corpse and maybe one of her eyeballs will pop out. That’s usually what happens at funerals I attend…

Upon returning home, leftovers from Cheesecake Factory were consumed. The Mets were playing on ESPN2, and winning! It’s been a frustrating week for Mets fans, as two games were lost due to defensive lapses. One day, Daniel Murphy drops a fly ball and singlehandedly wastes Johan Santana’s 8 innings and 13 strikeouts (jesus). The next day, Ryan Church drops a fly ball and then a balk (perpetrated by Feliciano, but the run was credited to Stokes) brings home what would prove to be the game-winning run. A crisp 7-2 victory tonight makes me feel happy. Happy enough to take Nicci out for ice cream before tonight’s episode of LOST. Is Miles Straum the son of Pierre Chang? Probably. Are the other passengers from Ajira 316 the descendants of the purged Dharma Initiative members? Quite likely. Am I fucking retarded for holding out hope we’ll find out about the specialness of Walt!? Absolutely.

Taxes? Recession? Says who!?

Post Script: I took my first picture of team member PHAN at the Edendale Post Office this morning. Edendale Post Office unofficial website coming soon…