Loading ...Film Review: Star Trek
By Evan ~ May 12th, 2009. Filed under: review.
Nicci and I shared a funny moment tonight as the house lights were dimming at the start of Star Trek. “Are you excited?” she asked. I said, “Not really.” Apparently she was under the impression that I was really into Star Trek. And I was under the impression that she was really into Star Trek, because last week she told me she wanted to see the film once I got back to LA. Turns out, neither of us are into Star Trek. I’ve never seen a single episode or movie in my entire life, and Nicci has “maybe caught an episode.” “Why are we even here?” indeed!
That said, maybe I’m in a good position to review the film, because I have no bias one way or the other about it. It’s not like I went out of my way to avoid Star Trek when I was growing up. I’m not averse to the series, or its legion of supporters. I think I just would have rather watched a baseball game or The Simpsons. Also TV was somewhat restricted in my house when I was younger. I remember my uncle really liked Star Trek. I’ve always confused the characters from the different series. I thought Patrick Stewart was right there alongside Leonard Nemoy and William Shatner. Also, the guy with the stupid glasses, the pale guy, and an alien with a huge head and little ears. Quork? Was there a Quork on Star Trek? Needless to say, I was a bit disappointed when I didn’t see the stupid glasses or the pale guy or a young bald spaceship captain at any point during the prequel.
Star Trek is an…entertaining film. That sentence is my attempt at one of those “what the critics are saying” bytes that appear in print and television advertisements. The action is very…action-y. The dialog doesn’t sound hammy or contrived. Not even those “Live long and prosper” ones. The story was captivating (even the weird time travel aspect — oh Lindelof and Abrams, when will you two give up on time travel scenarios!), and I left the theater feeling like I didn’t just throw twenty-five dollars away on a miserable 135-minute film.
Personally, I thought the Leonard Nemoy cameo was cheesy, but Nicci begged to differ. It made sense in relation to the story and the time travel paradox, but…I don’t know, I got a real Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights vibe from it. I didn’t see that film, but Nicci tells me Patrick Swayze comes back and makes a cameo in it. I’m too preoccupied with what’s going on around me to be able to think of another bad cameo where a guy plays himself years later, but I’m pretty sure those cameos are never good.
Who knew Spock and the black chick were doing it? I sure didn’t! Because I never watched the television show! Also, there was a Russian guy on the ship? I sort of remember hearing the name Chekov before…but I didn’t know he was Russian!
This is turning into the worst movie review I’ve ever written. It’s a fucking Star Trek movie. You’re going to like it or you’re not. I’m not really in a position to tell you what you should think. I’m a fucking blogger. The film has already grossed 75-million dollars so it’s not like my support to drive people to the box office. I’m just glad J.J. Abrams is gonna get rich and maybe he’ll strike gold again with another project as good as LOST. That show Fringe sucks. It’s like the X-Files but way worse. They should just start LOST over from the start, with new people, and slightly different plotlines. I’d watch that. Or maybe a movie like LOST, but somehow even better.
You’ve got your homework assignment, J.J., now get to it!
Nebula – The Dagger
James Blackshaw – Fix
Ceremonial Pat On The Back – Veluptuous Ribald Eulogy
Cluster – Proantipro
May 12th, 2009 at 7:28 am
I can’t wait for LOST: The Next Generation where the show is set in future
May 13th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Well, I am a massive Trekkie and I thoroughly enjoyed this. A lot of the hardcore fans are bitching and moaning about continuity-this and that but I’m personally very thankful for JJ Abrams wiping away the sillier aspects of the past and starting fresh. People seem to forget that first and foremost Star Trek (the original series) was F-U-N fun. There are plenty of episodes & films that don’t have any preachy social commentary or lectures about a lack of money, but are simply straightforward action/adventure pieces meant to be enjoyed on that level.
I really enjoy Fringe though. The comparisons to X-Files are inevitable, but it’s easy to forget that X-Files only had 3 or 4 good seasons out of 9. On Fringe, John Noble is worth the price of admission alone.
May 17th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
you said “like X Files but worse.” Is that to say that X Files was bad? No way! I watch the Fringe show mainly because of the character of Walter. He gives me some laughs. I’m looking forward to seeing Star Trek. Thanks for the review.