Note: my newest blog post for WFMU is now available for your reading enjoyment. An interview with William Fowler Collins! Click here! Also, there is now a link on the right sidebar of this page where you can see all of my WFMU blog posts on one easy-to-read page! Check ‘em out!

Now, for today’s post.

Look, there really isn’t any way to sugar coat this story, so I’m going to come right out and say it: I’m giving Swan Fungus t-shirts to as many homeless people around Los Angeles as I can. Ken and Katie were in town last week and one of them hatched this idea for “free advertising,” and I just ran with it. Nicci and I made up a dozen t-shirts this morning (much like the prototypes sold here a few months ago), only this time we included a stencil of the URL beneath my face. That way, people who see my face will know what the hell it means, since pretty much everyone who has received a shirt through the website for making a donation tells me how people on the street keep asking who the hell is on their shirt.

Now, I don’t want to turn this into an issue of morality, whereby I’m condemned for abusing homeless people. Of course it’s totally tacky that I handed out a bunch of shirts to the homeless in an attempt to better my life through increased exposure. But there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s not like hiring a bunch of midgets to serve Hors d’œuvre off plates affixed to their heads at a formal function, which is something my sister has always expressed interest in doing. That would be wrong. At least I’m giving the bums around this city a fresh clean shirt to wear. The least they can do in return is wear it and earn me a bigger audience. Either that or lay off the sauce and get a job!

Here are some pictures from the Great Swan Fungus Bum Advertising Push of 2009. We handed out half the shirts today, and I’m sure the rest will be gone by next week. Nicci’s got play rehearsal tonight and driving through Hollywood as rush hour begins is a real bitch, so our mission was curtailed shortly before we were able to complete our task for the day. Furthermore, I think we made some people very happy. We even made a new friend in Santa Monica, who asked us if we could make some shirts for him with his face on them! Phone numbers were exchanged. That guy wasn’t a bum, he lives in Silverlake but draws caricatures in Santa Monica. Whatever. We’ll see what happens.

If you have any bums in your area and want to hand them some Swan Fungus shirts, shoot me an e-mail and I’ll mail you some. You will be expected to return the favor by submitting photographic evidence of your charity work. If you don’t, well, you’re a total asshole. And now, some photos!

Disco Stu at the Santa Monica pier got a free t-shirt, but he looked like his resultant expression was one of wanting money, not a new shirt.

This guy wanted his own shirts made, so we traded phone numbers. He also asked Nicci if she had any cute friends he could date, since he hasn’t dated a woman since 1994.

This guy, who hangs out on Sunset near Vine, was super enthused to receive a new shirt. “That sounds like a great idea!” He said, or something like that. I liked this guy the most.

The guy who sleeps in the park near where Fawn and I used to live was equally excited about his new shirt. As I walked away, I turned around and saw him smiling and holding it up to himself. I didn’t want to look like a jackass and take his photo right there, so instead I drove around the block and caught him walking away.

This guy didn’t speak English well, but he was very antsy to receive a free tshirt. He all but grabbed it out of my hand. You can see him holding it in his hand here. I don’t even know if he was homeless. He was sitting on a sheet of cardboard, but he also had his own fedora. Maybe a really old Echo Park hipster?

More to come soon! Keep your eyes peeled for bums wearing Swan Fungus shirts in your neighborhood!

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