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By Evan ~ July 11th, 2009. Filed under: daily life.
I’ve got no time to update tonight. It’s really pathetic, I know. I got off work 20 minutes ago and I have to leave to head across town in 15 minutes. This isn’t nearly enough time to regale you with a hilarious story, or even to make something up on the fly. I woke up early and went to work this morning, and I was there all day, on my feet all day, and we didn’t even do that much business. I’m already ruing the fact that I have to work all day tomorrow — which will likely be slower than today — on my feet and not doing what I normally do on Sundays, which is…well…actual work.
Remember how last year I was writing a top ten list on Friday July 11th and I realized halfway through the entry that it was 7/11 and I could get a free Slurpee from my local 7-11? Well, today was July 11th and I was unable to get a free Slurpee because I was at work all day. Although, I guess the promotion runs until midnight, right? I should stop at a 7-11 on the way to the west side.
Oh my God, what a genius idea!
Rather than leave you hanging while I’m off enjoying a free Slurpee, I’ll leave you with another installment of…
Absurd Google Searches That Led Visitors To This Website Today
13. guy puts something in drunk then fucks girl
12. black mother fucker model list
11. help with farkle addiction
10. signs of a pathetic loser
09. naked women liking butts
08. philadelphia denzel washington costume party
07. fuck a girl who hasn’t started period
06. BUTT NAKED WOMEN IN PUBLIC
05. federal reserve bank die hard building was not built (?)
04. gail simmons breasts
03. ikea salmon sandwich
02. shit pussy
01. should i buy billy corgan strat
I swear to christ, the world is filled with really creepy mongoloids. And somehow the Internet directs them all to my website. What a scary thought.
…And now you know why I never give out details about my exact location on a given day/night. I don’t want some guy who Googles “Ape Sex” seeing that I’m going to be at bar so-and-so tonight, then he shows up with a knife and cuts me in the bathroom. I’ve got to protect myself and my friends a little bit from the randoms who look for websites about “fuck a girl who hasn’t started period” and become agitated when they click onto Swan Fungus and it’s not what they anticipated. Those people are often violent. I want them to stay away from me. You understand, right?
July 12th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
I didn’t know this search/hit/keyword thing was ongoing.. ha.
So you actually receive disgruntled replies from angry trap victims?
Isn’t that an automatic admition of being a complete creeep!
-Also- Still blown away at the response to your ripping of classical composers.
Nothing is sacred, Lighten up!