• Leave it to CNN to ruin all future vacation plans of yours. In case you didn’t know, the Cable News Network has compiled a list of the “germiest” tourist attractions in the world. As expected, the thematic link tying this article to the news is the fear of Swine Flu. If you’re planning on visiting the Blarney Stone, the Market Theater Gum Wall, St. Mark’s Square, Oscar Wilde’s Tomb, or Grauman’s Chinese Theater, you should think twice or you will DIE OF SWINE FLU! Ah, fear mongering! Will it ever get old? [story]

• CNN/CareerBuilder have put their collective brainpower towards solving the problem of job scams! Scams and Flams! Oh my scammy flammy mammy! I had to stop reading this article after finishing the first item in their list, “Hold tight to your cash.” I thought, “Huh. That’s odd, what does holding onto cash have anything to do with apply for a job?” Luckily for me, CNN and CareerBuilder address are here to address my concern! “No legitimate employer asks you for money.” There. That’s as far as I got in the article. How fucking retarded do you have to be if you’re giving money to people who are interviewing you for a job? Answer: Retarded enough to read career advice columns written by CNN. [story]

• Was it last season or two seasons ago when The Onion ran this article with the headline “Struggling Mets Combine To Form Carlos Voltron”? Either way, the hilarious article has been made timely once again, now that a Japanese professor has created a baseball-playing robot! The three-fingered pitching bot can throw 90% of its pitches for strikes! The batting robot hits balls in the strike zone almost 100% of the time, while not swinging at anything outside the strike zone! Neither of them use performance enhancing drugs! Maybe Carlos Voltron will save the Mets this season… [story]

• If you live in the New York area and dream of being a sports talk show host, Sirius/XM’s Mad Dog Radio is hiring. I’ve already applied. [story]

• My friend Lauren turned me onto this article about a Northern, CA brewery that uses 45 million year old single-celled yeast in its beers. Stumptown Brewery’s XP Ale is definitely a prehistoric brew. I can’t wait to try it, even if the majority of their beers are moderately rated by my fellow aficionados. [story]

• Lifehacker ran two interesting articles last week. The first was on how to “discover your life’s purpose in around 20 minutes — or not.” I tried it, but nothing made me cry. I guess I have no purpose. Then again, I don’t think anything I’ve ever written has made me cry. Then again, I’m not a woman. Maybe if you’re a woman and you try this exercise it will work as expected, but I doubt any man is going to brought to tears by free-writing simple phrases on a piece of paper for 20 minutes about what their life’s purpose is. [story]

• Are you having trouble budgeting on an irregular income? Lifehacker has devised a system for budgeting during a down economy so as to have a little extra cash on hand when needed. I could tell you how to budget and save you a ton of money, but you’d have to pay me to learn my secrets. I’m still making less than $20 an hour and I’ve always got some cash on hand. No, it has nothing to do with prostitution or drug dealing. I’ve just cut out all the unneccessary bullshit and focused on what’s important. Records. Occasionally food. Soda. The result? $$$! [story]

• Slate ran an article this week called “The three biggest reasons music magazines are dying.” Maybe it has something to do with the terrible music they cover, or the fact that the entire publishing industry is in shambles? The most ridiculous statement made in the article is definitely “Music magazines were an early version of social networking.” I wouldn’t be opposed to reading an article that simply talks about the publishing industry and a lack of good music to cover as reasons why magazines are failing, but trying to put a Web 2.0 spin on things and argue that Rolling Stone was a social network is the journalistic equivalent of jerking off into your own mouth. Why would you even bother? Leave it to the mongoloids to try and make that shit work. [story]

• The following MP3s have been culled from a great album called Bold Beginnings: An Incomplete Collection Of Louisville Punk 1978-1983. I make no attempts to hide my unadulterated love for the city of Louisville. If you’d asked me, after my first visit in 2005, what my favorite American city was, I would’ve said Louisville. I still think it’s one of the top three treasures here in the States. If you think about all the amazing music that the city has gifted us, from Squirrel Bait, Crain, and Slint to Will Oldham and others — those bands had to be rooted in something amazing. The artists involved needed to be exposed to certain kinds of music (especially punk rock) to help them expand upon the sounds and the alter the possibilities of punk music. Early Louisville punk is what brings all those later local musicians together. I consider this album to be an absolute must-have for anyone who has ever enjoyed any aspect of Louisville’s underground music, punk, folk or pop.

The Monsters – Fedished
No Fun – Evasive Measures
The Endtables – The Defectors
Skull Of Glee – Cannibals Gone Wild

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