“Just as she begins her list, Simcha closes with a truism that describes all women: ‘She’s always looking for compliments.’ Look, we don’t know why women are insecure. We just know that they are insecure. All of ‘em. Hence, they fish for compliments. With a little doubt removal, one would figure that a woman’s thirst for reassurance would be satiated. Wrong! It only increases the more you tell her that you love her and she’s not fat! It gets worse, too! Why? Apparently — according to Simcha Whitehill, writer for a website called The Frisky — it is because all women are LOSERS.”

Just try and stop the irony. You can’t. It’s out there running around and peeing all over the place, and you’re chasing it around with a leash and some wet naps and the whole neighborhood is laughing. Sorry, dude.