On Personality Tests And LOST

August 12, 2009

I always knew there was a reason I shouldn’t start taking personality tests online. I received an e-mail today from my old friend Terry at the Scientology Center in Hollywood today. See, apparently he’d been e-mailing me fairly regularly to check up on my progress after I took the free stress test in March, but I gave him a “fake” e-mail address that I rarely check, so I had no idea he was writing me. Today I responded to all his e-mails (as the character “Calvin” I created to take the test, not as myself). He asked if I had any questions about taking the next step towards betting myself, so I said I wanted to learn more about how to improve the areas of my life that scored poorly on his test. Almost immediately he responded to that message with a request. He asked exactly what areas of my life needed adjustment. I was stumped. I couldn’t think of what to tell him, so I decided to take an online personality test to see if it gave me any ideas about what was wrong with me. That way I could use those results to formulate my e-mail to Terry. Sadly though, I took a test that didn’t score individual personality traits. I also forgot to take the test as “Calvin” would have. So, I wound up taking a fucking test that analyzed my whole existence, and it ruined the rest of my day for me.

The test I took was a color preference test, where you choose colors give you to in a series based on which one makes you feel the best. The results tell you everything you need to know about yourself. My results were:

My Existing Situation: “Outgoing but unpredictable and unstable. Likes things to go his way, otherwise he becomes agitated, indecisive, and fake in his activities.”

My Stress Sources: “Feels empty and isolated from others and wishes to overcome this feeling. Believes life has more to offer him than what he has experienced thus far, and doesn’t want to miss out on anything. He purses all his goals and dreams, fearful that any missed opportunity will cause him to miss out on even more. Quickly becomes an expert in any field he pursues and can sometimes come off as overbearing and nosy.”

My Restrained Characteristics: “Current events leave him feeling forced into compromise in order to avoid being cut off from affection or future cooperation.”

“Finds satisfaction in sexual activity, but is emotionally detached which prevents him from becoming too involved.”
“Current situation makes him feel unable to prove himself, but tries to make the best of things.”
“Willing to become emotionally involved because he feels isolated and alone. He tries to avoid conflict and disagreements, but his arrogance leads him to quickly take offense.”
“He is able to find satisfaction through sexual activity, but can be restless and emotionally distant so he never really gets too involved with others.”
My Desired Objective: “Has a strong desire to contribute and influence others, but it can make him restless. He is driven by his desires and hopes. Enjoys a wide range of activities, but he may spread himself to thin taking on too much.”
My Actual Problem #1: “Fears he will be held back from achieving things he really wants, leading him to search endlessly for satisfaction and become involved in activities which are pointless.”
My Actual Problem #2: “Feeling held back and restricted from moving forward, looking for a solution that will give him more freedom and less obstacles.”
Oh God, I hate myself. I knew blogging was a pointless activity, but I didn’t need a stupid online personality test to rub it in like that.
***
Tonight we started the process of re-watching all of LOST. This is, of course, a lead-in for season six, the season’s final show. In attendence at our little party tonight was the brother of the guy who wrote the best episode of LOST ever, “Walkabout”. According to him, his brother wrote that one episode and then got fired! That figures, what with the way the writing has steadily gone downhill since the first season. Someone else in attendance has a friend who works as a crew member on LOST, and even though production doesn’t officially begin until next week, there are rumors circulating that there might end up being a seventh season to the show. Good thing? Bad thing? I don’t know. Also, did you know the very first word spoken on LOST is “Walt!” He’s such a special young boy, and we’ll probably never learn anything new or important about him. Anticipate in the future that I will point out little things I notice as I watch the next 100+ episodes.
*The more you know!*

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