Three inner-city kids “case the joint” before committing theft at a local Best Buy.

• The New York Times has finally hopped aboard the “vinyl records and turntables are gaining sales” bandwagon. Is it just me, or does it seem like every six months another major news source is declaring that people are reclaiming vinyl as their music format of choice? Each time I read one of these pieces, I die a little inside. For every article mentioning gains in vinyl sales, there is one more industry executive wondering how to make more money off it. It doesn’t matter if it’s independent labels or major labels, soon enough prices are going to rise (and I can only imagine how much higher rip-off labels like Matador can go) and people are going to get turned off again. An increase in turntable sales are understandable because with the “trend” of “collecting” vinyl comes the segment of the population who simply want to listen to their parents or grandparents old records. Most of the time the records are kept for sentimental purposes, but the equipment used to play it is tossed aside. I understand that. At my store, we don’t do very well with new LP sales, but it’s been really cool to watch the renewed interest in used records over the past few years. It’s also been fascinating to keep track of which artists or bands consistently sell, or how much people are willing to pay for collectible records by certain artists. Of course, in my opinion (and many others agree), interest in buying vinyl never died. It just took a while for young people to realize the benefits of the format. [story]

• Just how insane is this whole “vinyl is back!” trend? Ami Angelowicz from The Frisky just wrote an article this week citing “5 tips for throwing a record party.” They include the following absolutely genius tips: “Yes, you need a record player,” “Starting a record collection isn’t as hard or as expensive as you think,” “Keep the guest list small,” “Food and drinks are a must,” and “Establish some rules and traditions.” Jesus Christ. Maybe I should stop collecting records and move onto Reel-to-Reel tapes or something. If these are going to be my “peers,” I don’t think I can handle telling people I buy vinyl anymore. If you want to know five tips for throwing a real record party, just ask Mark, Robinson, Kasi or myself. We throw some pretty amazing listening parties. I can’t think of any rules off the top of my head, but usually I like to bring along records I don’t think anyone else has ever heard. The last one I went to I broke out F/i, Flower Travelling Band, Chango, Chorcazade, and The Psychic Paramount. Another tip would be to make sure you have two record players, so that you can hear what the person in front of you in the rotation is playing, then find a way to cross-fade their song into your next selection. Make sure there’s enough booze to kill a show pony. It’s also fun to bring in one new person each time you have a party, then get them really stoned so they can’t contribute to any conversation. I’m sure I’m missing something here…oh well, no worries. This article is a laugh riot. [story]

• Important music-writer person Simon Reynolds wrote an article for The Guardian about the “musically fragmented decade” that has been the ’00s. Unfortunately for Reynolds, the barometer he uses to gauge trends and significance is Pitchfork and their list of the 200 best albums of the decade. He compares his list to theirs and wonders if there is fragmentation developing among music fans; if it is harder to form a consensus opinion about something now than it was eight or nine years ago. I couldn’t really care. I think it’s laughable that he thinks Pitchfork is relevant beyond the fact that a high grade could lead to sales. I mean, it’s not a website you frequent if you actually want to learn something about modern music. His assessment that the website’s “mindset [is] definitely ‘rock’” but spreads beyond into various other genres couldn’t be further from the truth. Pitchfork has a huge bias towards flat-out pop music, and gives little-to-no regard to anything that challenges norms or promotes experimental techniques. That’s why you see shit like The Arcade Fire, Animal Collective, Interpol, The Unicorns, The Strokes, Vampire Weekend and Radiohead being lauded copiously. There really isn’t anything unique about those bands. They all adhere to the most fundamental principles of pop music. When the website tries to wrap its head around avant — dare I say controversial — music, it either fails miserably to see the point (resulting in absurdly low grades) or dooms an album to obscurity by providing it a middle-of-the-road grade. I would say to Mr. Reynolds that this has not at all been a fragmented decade. There have been consistently stunning records released throughout the last ten years. In fact, I would not hesitate to say that in the past five years I have discovered more diverse and incredible new albums than in the first five years of this decade. The first step to realizing the joy of finding new music is to STOP READING PITCHFORK. Expand your mind a little. You’ll find that one needn’t search too hard to find out that this has been anything but a musically fragmented decade. [story]

• Fuck all that 2012 bullshit, Nostradamus predicted WWIII would come in 2010. To no one’s shock, the Russian astrologist who attempted to research Nostradamus’ quatrains sees a grim future for the USA and Europe, but easiness for Russia. The World War that is predicted to begin in November 2010 will include both biological and chemical weapons. Guess where the safest place in the world will be? You guessed it, Russia. Oh yeah, and America and Western Europe will start fighting about something, all the world’s economies will continue to slump, and only Russia’s will rebound. What a load of shit. It’s about as ridiculous as all that 2012 speculation. Speaking of which, I heard a rumor that Alec Baldwin announced he would retire from acting in 2012. Is that what this shit is all about? The world is going to end because Alec Baldwin doesn’t want to be on television or in movies anymore? Sounds like a bunch of hype over nothing. I didn’t even know Alec Baldwin was still on television or in movies. I thought his career ended after he made that movie adaptation of that book with Demi Moore back when I was in middle school. Wasn’t he also in one of those Sharon Stone sex thrillers? Come to think of it, which one is Alec Baldwin, anyway?

• I think “the portal” is about to open again. There’s a new website that can forecast whether or not a damaging earthquake is going to strike in or near your neighborhood. All you have to do is plug in your zip code and it will reveal the odds that a natural disaster will strike your home. I put in my information, and the website told me there is a 34% chance “the big one” will hit me within the next year. I think that’s enough to warrant a glance eastward, don’t you? There’s a 0.22% chance of one hitting downtown New York. Interesting… [story]

• WIRED published their list of their readers’ favorite iPhone apps from 2009. I don’t own any of them. I’m kind of digging the app where you can send a message to AT&T telling them where you don’t have service. I wonder if they’ll actually do me the honor of installing a tower near where I live. I also like the Twitter application, because I can tell people exactly where I am in the world when I post my latest witticism. Thanks a lot, GPS! [story]

• Happy birthday mom. Hey, everyone. Tell my mom happy birthday, would ya!? The old lady turns 63 today! I know what you’re thinking. “Evan, you don’t even have a heart. How could you possibly love somebody?” I’m telling you, I do have a heart. And I love my mom! I love her just as much as I did the day she squoze me out of her fetid womb. Without my mom, my hypochondria and obsessive compulsive tendencies would pretty much have my incapacitated. Luckily she doesn’t mind me calling her at all hours of the night because I think I have cancer or swine flu. That’s true love, I tell you! Happy birthday mom. Your check is in the mail.

Nick Cave & Warren Ellis – Storytime [The Road OST]
Blind Blake – Rope Stretchin’ Blues
The Devil’s Anvil – Hala Laya

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