I don’t post enough of my old diary excerpts on this website. How can you possibly get an idea of what drives a person like myself when you have only five years worth of blog entries to read? In order to understand me and my pathology, you really should reserve judgement until you’ve read everything I have ever written. I think my old LiveJournal should have its own wing in the Museum of Evan, which is currently under construction on some quiet corner of the Internet. Until the cyber-edifice has been completed, you’ll have to settle for simple excerpts like this one, which was penned the year before I created this humble little website blog.
If you don’t remember, I used to keep a LiveJournal (2003-2005) that basically chronicled my experiments with various substances intended to catapult normal everyday humans into hyper-aware super-apes, the kind most often referenced on Lee “Scratch†Perry / the Upsetters albums. Here’s another brain-cell murdering journey down [my] memory lane…
04-09-04 @ 1:16am “you know”
tonight i was bored. in need of excitement and danger. i found both in a little drug called hashish.
now, i know what you’re thinking. you’re sitting there all like, “evan, shut up, evan.” well i won’t shut up. i won’t shut up, evan. i’m going to sit here and i will keep talking. forever. until you listen.
so i got fried using the old Snapple bottle trick, and i was downstairs watching tv, when i noticed that there was an ant crawling on my leg. someone left a sugary drink out last night and today the area by the tv like a fucking ant-metropolis.
at long last i had found the danger i sought earlier in the evening. armed with a big can of bug spray that looked like a foghorn in one hand, and a water canister full of boiling hot water in the other, i declared all out war on the ants.
i started by pouring the boiling hot water all over everything. retrospectively, i probably did more damage to the carpet and electronics than to the ants. i came to this realization after 3 full canteens of the boiling hot water were spilled all over the room. there were still ants left, so i went to plan b. the aerosal thing. now, i don’t know what’s in that aerosal, but it smells like shit. the directions said not to ever spray it in a closed space, but i figured the room had ventilation ducts so it probably wasn’t that bad. i felt baddest for the dogs when i saw that they were unhappy to be smelling the foul foghorn’s insect killing fumes. after awhile i started to feel funny in my head from the smell of the spray so i opened the back door and let the room air out. i felt better after that.
i haven’t seen any ants since then, but i have been seeing lots of weird purple dots trailing across the world if my eyes dart around a lot. some of them have taken humanlike forms but they’re not telling me what to do. yet.
tomorrow i should do some school work. i think i still have a small brick of hash left so i must leave this diary and once again go back return to the Snapple bottle in my soul.
Lastly, I’d like to thank the kind souls at Southern Lord who went out of their way to send me an advance copy of the new Pelican record. Maybe you guys aren’t so bad after all. This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. A beautiful, sludgy, terrorizing, blacker-than-death friendship.
US Christmas – Pray To The Sky
Ruins – Big Head
The Zombies – Woman
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