In Which I Abandon My Blog In Favor Of A Board Game

I thought finding out you could play Farkle on the Internet sounded the death knell for my ability to accomplish anything. Then today I found a free Java-based website where you can play Settlers of Catan online against people around the world (They call it Xplorers, but it’s identical to Catan). Needless to say, that revelation — coupled with a hangover from massive drinking exhibiion last night — has left me utterly incapable of focusing on a task any larger than my laptop’s monitor.

I’m not normally one to find myself in a comatose state following a night of partying. Usually I’m awake and good to go, or I’ll just go on no sleep and hack it for as long as I can. I used to prefer working on New Years Day at my old job because I would roll up at 8am and only have to interact with maybe ten people all day. The pay rate was increased, too. Maybe it’s a sign of aging that I all of a sudden find myself decimated by the results of a long night of alcohol consumption. The last time I woke up with a hangover I strolled into work on time feeling just a little bit dehydrated. This morning I woke up with such a crushing headache and sore body I contemplated pissing myself because I was too achy to stand up and walk to the bathroom. In hindsight that might have been the saddest/funniest moment of my life. Oh well, there’s always next time.

As if it couldn’t get any worse than considering pissing in my bed this morning, I received even more disappointing news upon awakening from my drunken coma: I had to turn down an invitation to dine at Bouchon because the reservation was made for Valentine’s Day. Such heartbreak.

And now I can’t even think of anything to blog about because there’s a game of Catan open in the background and I’m more excited about that stupid female voice potentially saying, “Your Turn!” so that I can once again slide into a thoughtless, idealess malaise with the laptop I so adore. Next thing you know, I’m going to find out that you can play the original version of Civilization, or Scorched Earth, or Super Play Action Football (SNES), and then I’ll have to cut off all contact with friends and family. And I won’t care. It’ll be like 5th grade all over again.

Richard Skelton – Remaindered
Windy & Carl – Wool And Water
Xasthur – Cemetary Of Shattered Masks