It’s 12:30pm PST right now. I haven’t heard from Flat Conner since he called me over twelve hours ago (11:23pm according to my cell phone) to say he was moving away from the Sunset Strip to another club. He did not specify where he was going. He just said he would be home late and I should leave a key outside under my doormat for him. Normally I’d expect him to sneak me a “getting laid, see you tomorrow bitch!” text, so his lack of further contact is abnormal. Not only didn’t he text me to let me know he was  staying out for the night, it’s Sunday afternoon now and I still haven’t heard from him. His cell phone is going straight to voicemail. I’m starting to get concerned. Unfortunately I have no choice but to stay at work for the rest of my shift and hope that he calls me before the end of the day to let me know what the fuck is going on.
If any of you were out on the Strip last night and saw Conner, please let me know. I’m supposed to take him to the airport tomorrow so I’m going to try not to get too worked up about this. I know you’re all concerned about Flat Conner, especially since you know how much I’ve come to care for the little guy. I never thought I’d feel such a close connection to a 2nd grader, but Flat Conner has totally changed my life for the better.
Ok. Don’t overact, Evan. He’ll turn up soon.
Here’s a recent photo of Flat Conner. If you’ve seen him around Los Angeles please contact me ASAP.
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