Hi friends. Gosh, I’ve had such a busy day off from work I haven’t had any time to conceptualize a blog post. Usually I just sit around like an invalid, steeping in my own bodily excretions, trying my damnedest to conjure an inkling..an idea…a figment of an idea…only to give up and write about Mario Kart or whatever those cunts at The Frisky are yammering on about. I woke up early and went for a run (and no, I wasn’t limp-wristedly tip-toeing around a track, I’m just a guy trying to stave off death, a perfectly heterosexual guy who sees no problem with trying to get in shape). I took my car to the shop for some service. I had lunch at the Silver Lake Cheese Shop and executed a light reading task I set for myself. I feel myself growing dumber by the day, readers. Maybe if I start expanding my mind and feeding it new information it won’t continue deteriorating at it’s current rate. At one point I chuckled aloud as I read a beautifully-worded passage describing the process of eating a girl’s ass. From there I took a drive up the 101 to Studio City where I (finally) got my turntable back from the shop. A new motor later, I’m back in my bedroom listening to almost two-months worth of vinyl that has been piling up in my room while I’ve been sans the most crucial audio component in my stereo system. Now I’m jamming out to Ecstatic Music Of The Jemaa El Fna and some crate digger’s gospel funk compilation. I am as happy as I’ve been in some time.
What’s more, tonight is pub trivia night. I think we’re going to try out an east-side joint this time instead of hiking over to the west side to party near where Ken and KT live. I’ve been putting myself and some friends through the ringer all day trying to come up with some unique pub trivia team names to use tonight. Some examples that weren’t quite good enough to use include:
• Lord I Was Born A NAMBLA’n Man
• You’re Too Young, But Here’s Some Wine Coolers And A Condom
• It’s Not Bestiality If You Double-Bag It
• Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun (Simpsons reference alert!)
• Alex Rodriguez’s Pussy
I’m saving the best ones from publication until they’ve been officially used, that way no one beats us to the punch. Still, if you want to submit an idea for a unique and incredible pub trivia team name, by all means share it in the comments section.
I got some link-back love on Flavorpill today. So the drugs and whores and increased ad revenue will be arriving imminently.
On a completely unrelated note, I wrote a letter to an author yesterday. I don’t know if it was the right thing to do. I liked his book, and I meant to ask him for some writing advice. Immediately after sending the letter I started thinking of all the reasons he wouldn’t respond to me. Maybe I was a bit too lackadaisical about the whole thing. I wrote only in lowercase. To call it “formal” would be a massive understatement. I wondered if maybe the author would see me as someone trying to kiss his ass to much. Maybe the perceived slack would come off like I was just aping his style. I’m still regretting the decision. I don’t normally do shit like that. I’m not sure how the situation will resolve itself. If it will even resolve itself. As far as I’m concerned this is not at all like submitting an interview request. That shit is easy. Have you attempted anything similar to what I’ve described? How did it go? Should I expect a response? Should I even care?
Listening to Sunn O))) records makes me feel like I shouldn’t look like the kind of guy someone in Kentucky once screamed “faggot” at from a speeding Chevy.
…And that’s all I have for you today. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s blog post, where I’ll write about how my father bringing me to his Sunday morning bowling league shaped my hateful views toward women. Or maybe I’ll just post a picture of my balls. Swan Fungus: You never know what will happen next. But you can probably predict it.
Autolux – Transit Transit
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