There’s a new show on NBC. You might have heard of it. It’s called The Event, and it’s one of the worst pieces of shit I’ve ever wasted my time watching on television. And I watched Temptation Island when it first aired. The Event is so bad my friends and I already have developed a drinking game that we look forward to each week. The drinking game is miles beyond better than the actual show is. I’ll describe it in more detail later, because to understand the necessity for a drinking game you need to understand the terribleness of the product we are drinking to forget.
Rarely does a show fail on so many levels like The Event does. The narrative technique, acting, direction and writing are all poor. This show — which is being billed as the most engaging television program since LOST or 24, is more like a combination of V and Flash Forward, two miserable shows that any producer would be wise not to replicate. From the very start, this show has wanted desperately to achieve a LOST-like level of mystery and intrigue, but the ways in which the show tries to pull this off are all moronic. During the first episode, nearly every scene ended with a forced twist. “Wait a minute, that person is wearing handcuffs!” “What the — who’s that guy!?” The series was not even twenty minutes old before it started to feel like everyone involved in its creation was trying way too hard to impress me.
The narrative technique: The pilot was told in retroversions to two different time frames. What that means is, each successive scene was either a flash back or a flash forward. This has continued, although to a slightly lesser extent, through the next two episodes. It’s fucking annoying, and it’s a terrible way to advance a story. What’s more, they’re not even organized correctly. Instead of advancing the plot, the show will veer off into an entirely new time frame in order to introduce a new, distinct plot point. Instead of answering a question through flashback or flash forward, The Event will go from four weeks ago to seven days ago to present day to six years ago to thirty minutes ago to present day, and what occurs in those scenes might not be bound by any thread. The scenes might center around five different characters. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Acting: Why did they pick a guy with a lisp to be the main character? That is so distracting. What’s even worse is that the actors on The Event suffer from the same annoying habit that befell those actors from Flash Forward. Why does everybody feel the need to whisper their lines! It’s like they’re all trying to make up for a lack of intensity in the script. It doesn’t work. It never works. It ruined Flash Forward for me and it pushed The Event even deeper into the recesses of horrible television.
Direction: It’s hard to judge direction on a television program. All you can see is the acting choices, the delivery and the physical movements. But if none of those things are working correctly, what does that say about the person who is directing the actors? Nothing good.
Writing: This is by far the worst aspect of the show. Let’s look at a segment from Episode 3 to illustrate the ridiculousness of the writing for The Event. First, the main character somehow sneaks into the trunk of an FBI agent’s car without being caught. Then, he enters the FBI facility and finds his way to their computer server room without being questioned or caught. Then it’s magically revealed that he is a computer whiz! How fitting! But the best part comes when two unknown government agents enter the FBI office and — wait for it — kill everybody there? Really? How do you kill an entire FBI office? Except, of course, for the main character and one other FBI agent, who miraculously escape the two-man hit squad. Who the hell writes this garbage? In the same episode, the American government takes an alien and sequesters him in a fancy hotel in exchange for information about a stupid disappearing airplane. Then he asks for his girlfriend to be released in exchange for the information. So they bring the boyfriend and girlfriend together, and even though the alien guy is under intense supervision, with video cameras and guards outside the door, somehow the girlfriend is allowed to entire his hotel room with a giant shiv, which she uses to murder him. Uh…okay? To say that The Event forces you to suspend disbelief would be a massive understatement. I’m convinced the writers room is filled with a bunch of retards.
Don’t watch this show. Or, if you do, at least follow the rules of the drinking game we created. That’s the only reason I’m still watching The Event. It gives me a reason to get drunk. When you drink as frequently as I do, sometimes you need to create new reasons to drink so you don’t feel too much like an alcoholic. A terrible television program definitely helps give me a new, justifiable reason to imbibe.
The Event Drinking Game
• Take one drink every time you see a shot that is obviously CGI.
• Take one drink every time the show flashes back, or flashes forward.
• Take one drink every for each newly revealed plot twist.
• Drink every time you finish a character’s cliched sentence for them.
• Drink every time you recognize something that belongs on either V or Flash Forward.
• Take two big drinks every time you think, “LOST did it better.”
• Take a shot every time you wonder when this show is going to be cancelled.
• Take a drink if at least three characters in a scene are whispering.
• Take a drink whenever you recognize an actor from a cancelled NBC or ABC show.
• Take a shot when a character is revealed to be an alien.
• Take two drinks when a character references “The Event.”
• Take a drink every time a character knows an answer but won’t say what it is.
• Take a drink when you realize the show’s title screen is a rip off of LOST and Flash Forward.
October 11th, 2010
YES IT DOES SUCK! I EXPECTED MORE FROM AT LEAST THE ALIENS…THEY HAVE THE MENTAL POWER TO MAKE AN AIRLINER VANISH & REAPPEAR SOMEWHERE ELSE AND THEY CAN’T ORGANIZE THEMSELVES….EVERYTHING ELSE HAS BEEN SAID ABOVE SO I WON’T GO THERE BUT THIS SHOW WILL BORE THE 4th GRADERS IT WAS WRITTEN FOR….RUBBISH…….IT’S LIKE THE OBOMA ADMINISTRATION WROTE THIS CRAP THEMSELVES…ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS “BELIEVE”, SAY YES WE CAN AND CLAP YOUR HANDS TOGETHER!
October 11th, 2010
Thanks man that summed up all my feelings about this show. PLEASE CANCEL IT NOW!
October 12th, 2010
agree, what a dissapointment; This last episode’s plot got even stupider w/ the fake cops. The twists in the script are forced and unrealistic.
October 12th, 2010
Mssr. Fungus, did you ever do a bashing session with the now-cancelled (?) NBC one Persons Unknown ?
October 12th, 2010
I started the first episode the night I couldn’t sleep due to crippling stomach pain, but I couldn’t focus. I will seek out the (how many?) episodes and give it a fair shot.
October 12th, 2010
Wethinks it was 12 or 13 episodes . . .
October 12th, 2010
you gotta admit, it’s a LOT better than lost
October 12th, 2010
Wow, first comment is from a freaky troll who somehow has to incorporate the Obama Administration into the mix – complete with some nonsensical wordplay.
BARRACK OBAMA HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH TELEVISION PROGRAMMING, particularly The Event. Geez, made me type all caps.
October 15th, 2010
Man, I can’t stand you, but I think you can better spend your time doing something else than watch this show. You wouldn’t keep chowing down on a terrible meal, so why do this with TV?
October 15th, 2010
When you drink a lot. When you drink A LOT…sometimes it’s good to have a reason to drink. It makes you feel like less of a degenerate.
I can’t stand you either.
October 17th, 2010
I hate it when shows try to advertise their show by mentioning BETTER shows.
“If Lost had a baby” Shut the hell up, you’ll never be as good as LOST, and from what I hear on the internet, You’re far from it :P
October 18th, 2010
They should change the name of the show to Hey I lost my girlfriend”! What the hell?! They have so many worthless flashbacks just for filler. Are you going to get to the event or are going to have to keep watching this crap about some guy trying to find his girlfriend? This has nothing to do with the story. This could have been great but of course the poor writing and the need to drag on the story line ensures this load of crap will canceled soon enough.
October 19th, 2010
You’re dead on about the horrible writing but you’re concentrating on the wrong stuff. It’s at least within fantastical storyland possibility to kill everyone in an FBI office. The same with the magical ability to crack into FBI computers in seconds. But for a people to be imprisoned for 66 years and when asked why they haven’t turned in their compatriots it is impossible for them not to say, “BECAUSE YOU’VE IMPRISONED US FOR 66 YEARS ASSHOLE! Why the fuck would we tell you about our friends you brain dead fucktard.” SOMEONE would have said this, EVERYONE should have said this. Every time some idiot mentions that they haven’t turned in their friends someone should mention, “Well, we have kept them imprisoned for 66 years without any real justification other than we’re scared of them. Why WOULD they turn in their friends when we’ve shown we are not to be trusted? That would be really, really stupid so you should feel like a total dumbass for even asking it. Would YOU turn in YOUR family if the Soviets invaded America? No? Then why would you expect anyone else to.” Then they would take out a gun and shoot the idiot in the head, you know, for good television drama.
There are SO many other problems based on simple logic and reason:
If they could make an airplane disappear they should be able to make every person in that prison disappear. At the very least they could make all the guards go to sleep while they escape.
Why do they need the President to tell everyone about them. The aliens should hold their own press conference and spill the beans. They’re smart, they could hire a really good press agent to counter idiots like the first commenter, Mr. ALL-CAPS-I-WANT-MY-COUNTRY-BACK-FROM-THE-NON-WHITES! racist dick.
The aliens would have no reason to attack the President so any person with more than two brain cells would realize instantly it was an inside job so their is political pressure to release them. They would also know anyone positing that the aliens did it is either a complete moron or is part of the conspiracy.
For someone so smart they should know threatening the President with the death of the passengers would be useless. No one knows they survived so the administration can let them die without anyone knowing. It’s like the alien leader guy has never watched the news.
The attempt to make the female CIA hitperson likable is idiotic; a cold blooded murder… with a heart of gold. Please. And for her boss to ask if the job was done is beyond stupid; he would already know.
There are WAY too many pointless flashbacks that do nothing to advance the plot. Like most of the scenes between the kidnapped chick and her magical hacker boyfriend. You can easily just fast-forward through all of those and be sure you missed nothing that matters. It reminds me of the horrible Defying Gravity where they literally interrupted the only exciting moments of the show with, I swear to the gods, a MOVING scene. They interrupted a fast paced action scene with a boring, pointless scene with people moving boxes. I’ll bet the writers on this show are connected with that abysmal failure.
It’s so bad I’m just waiting for the obligatory religious angle to start being played where there’s some kind of bullshit Christian theme like the aliens are actually angels.
October 19th, 2010
Reading Turban’s piece was rather surreal having not seen The Event myself.
October 19th, 2010
preach it brother…! hehehe :-)
Mitur’s comments are right on too…
I too was dumbfounded with the logic of the alien expat
not understanding his negotiation weakness with the president.
without a public demonstration of his ability to disappear planes
(and given the fact that the planes occupants are in a secure private facility unknown to the general public) the president can easily allow the passengers to die without any public backlash!
because the public already believes the plane has crashed – those people are already dead! So bringing them back to life would be a bigger PR problem for the government.
For the alien expat (and writers of the show?) not to understand that threatning the death of people that the public already assumes are dead is the ultimate stupidity!
And then for the alien not to be able to demonstrate his power in a more public and on a larger scale (I mean he did make a plane teleport – right?) makes him look weak and ineffective – the writers seem unable to create a worthy antaganist.
COME ON! have the alien publically take out a small town with a population of 10-20K! Then I’ll believe he is in a negotiating position with the president. If the president doesn’t give in then you take out a bigger town something around 50K…!
I MEAN WHO ARE THESE WRITERS!?
here’s my prediction of where this is going:
the aliens are actually in purgatory -
along with everyone else on earth…
(just like the psuedo-christian ending of Lost)
October 20th, 2010
I can’t imagine the show being any better drunk. Can’t believe it got renewed for a full season.
October 21st, 2010
The shows sucks. The aliens are not the ones that really exist. They speak perfect english and they look just like us. How freaking boring.
October 22nd, 2010
I wanted to like the show, I really did, but then the first scene kinda blew it. First the CGI sucks, just isn’t realistic. Then, too assume someone wouldn’t alert the President who is (i’m assuming) a couple miles from the airport that all airport controllers are down is stupid. I finally couldn’t stand it anymore when the female FBI agent is approaching the house in which she thinks Lelah is and I notice that her left hand thumb is on the slide. So, in essence, if she were to fire, she would also cut her thumb off knuckel high. And I noticed this at midnight when I was tired and just wasting time. So, clearlyI just couldn’t stand it anymore.
October 23rd, 2010
Burton said:
“The shows sucks. The aliens are not the ones that really exist”
He KNOWS. roflmao. Yeah…riggghhhht! Then again, water on the moon they say…*X-Files theme*
I was hoping this series would be half decent because apart from nature documentaries [yes, I'm sad], there is nothing on TV worth watching these days in my opinion and please, for the love of God don’t mention talent shows. I hate those with a passion as they push commercial, bubblegum music i.e. meaningless crap. Unfortunately, however, from what I’ve seen thus far there’s not much promise for ‘The Event’ at all. Flashbacks don’t work, they’re a lazy writer’s tool and let’s be honest they’ve been used to death and back. Can’t writers come up with anything original at all? Flashbacks are annoying, several [most] scenes jumped from one timeframe to another, past and present all intertwined in a messy melange which did not work well, let me tell you. All it accomplished was a state of mild confusion and a little guilty snigger as if to question what one has become to watch the very rubbish which I’ve tried so hard to avoid in the past. God damn, watching this brain-cell killer was frustrating! I actually looked forward to sitting down and watching it after seeing the epic adverts [yes, I got suckered in] , but Jesus, what a structureless, boring, weak-plot piece of crap. If you want intelligent viewing stay clear of this failiure.
I didn’t watch ‘The Event’ attentively, but I didn’t have to. I’m sure there are many plot holes in it which further derail the credibility of the storyline. For instance, where did the president get the intel about the ‘aliens’ which was meant to be kept under absolute secrecy under the careful watch of the CIA? [Wiki-leaks anyone?] I mean, did he go looking for it? Did someone give it to him? Was there any motive for the leak? Why can’t the ‘alien’s create a portal and escape the prison like they created for the plane to fly into? Say you’re an alien, after being kept locked up like a slave with a group of your friends and family in a prison for 66 years by human captors would you really have the level of compassion to save 200+ humans from dieing in a plane crash? This must be some kind of ideal, forgive and forget kind of world. I think a ‘We’re aliens and we’re going to kick your asses’ scenario would be more fitting here and leaving the cliche of it aside, I think it would be less ridiculous and more believable, but alas, the writers thought otherwise.
I bet that the Lost, 24, CSI, Flash Forward, Law & Order crowd will love this.
October 23rd, 2010
I knew the show sucked even before it aired. Advertising people to death with it for an entire summer will do that. Seriously, they’d have two commercials for it EVERY COMMERCIAL BREAK! I hated it so much I wanted to break the TV.
October 28th, 2010
The only thing worse than ‘The Event’ are the Go Compare adverts. I think I deserve an award for this comment.
November 1st, 2010
Lost was just that, Lost. However, clearly we’ve established the new depth of suck. Now that we get to take a week long break to ponder our collective investment in this show, let’s hope the writers can muster a compelling plot, or I shall be forced to start watching re-runs of Project Runway…
At least Scully and Mulder had purpose.
November 15th, 2010
This show started recently, here in the UK.
I have recorded the episodes in a series link, but every time I switch it on, I’m compelled to turn it off.
Seems absolute shite! After trawling through various sites, the verdict is unanimous… Don’t waste your time or your life watching this…
This is getting deleted off my box asap!
The few scenes I did watch left me confused and bored. Lost was shit and literally left you lost, but the first few seasons were enthralling still.
The Event is like the happening… Fuck all happens!!!
November 20th, 2010
So I Googled “The Event Sucks” and stumble upon this fine forum.
Every Single Ad and commercial for this show i a piece of S! Melodramatic. Got Done Watching One With A Mother and Son:
mom: i need to accept you for who you really are
son: YOU. DONT. KNOW. WHO IIIIIII AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!
~pulls out gun~
mom: i want you to look at me when you pull the trigger!!
son: (takes of the safety)
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
~sigh~ We need a new “seinfeld”…how bout a show about everything?
Anyways. Gbye And Uh Lets hope the writers dont make it here or else we will be seeing Angel Aliens :)
November 22nd, 2010
Great drinking game! It made this piece of crap show interesting again.
November 23rd, 2010
The Event sucks and sucks and sucks and sucks. Take one of the worst TV shows of the last 10 years and add that wretched actress who used to be the curmudgeon doctor on ER, and that’s a recipe for SUCK! I was hoping it would get better, but wasn’t willing to watch episodes to find out. So I tried to get through the 3 minute recaps, but they somehow manage to be just as boring — an amazing feat.
I will say that aside from some overacting, I did like Flash Forward… way better than the Event.
November 29th, 2010
The drinking game is a good idea, but a show this bad will require some really stiff drinks. My favorite scene so far is the one that goes like this:
Bad guys break into apartment where Leila and Sean are using a super secure DSL connection to hack something or update their Twitter or whatever. Leila and Sean make a break for it while the shady apartment owner/hacker guy triggers the obligatory self-destruct sequence and blows his computers to bits. Leila and Sean make it to the street, where Leila breaks down, exasperated and wondering if they’re going to OMG live their whole lives on the run now??? (By my estimation, at this point they have been running for all of one minute.) Sean flutters his doe eyes and tells her: Awwww it’s okay! I love you! And I’m a boy! You need my man hugs to have strength and confidence! And here I am, so it will all be okay! Because I love you! Awww!
Honestly, if I got drunk enough to make that disaster enjoyable, it would probably kill me.
November 29th, 2010
@Waffles, I also googled “The Event sucks” and find this like-minded group of people. Just two things:
First of all, the ads for it had some of the laziest writing around. It used buzz words like “mystery” and “government cover up.” It gave EACH plot line as a separate commercial, “The kidnapping is NOT the Ev(backwards E)nt as if to ask, “Does this storyline interest you? No? How about this one about the missing plane?”
Just throwing this out there as a side-thought. Backwards “e” means there’s a mirror. Mirror universe. The longevity of these “aliens” who look like humans is due to their advanced evolutionary state on the parallel Earth as that Earth’s humans. They made it to our Earth and got stuck. Some of them are able to bend reality with their minds, like the airplane guy, but can’t build enough strength to send them all back home because of our earth’s pollution is screwing with his biology. There. Poorly planned and lame origin; they should hire me to write for the show.
Secondly, the directing sucks. One episode had a “cold” open where there’s something intriguing: Magic computer guy brings FBI woman some bandages. OMG, why? What happened? Flashback to a car crash, explosion and…no suspense whatsoever. Will the guy make it? Will he save the woman? Why…yes he will. You just saw him bring her some bandages. Brilliant. I peed my pants in suspe…oh no I didn’t.
December 1st, 2010
I’m done. I’ve tried to be patient with the show but the writing is so bad this thing just makes no sense. There are so many problems with this plot…. but the straw that has broken the camels back is…. why in the hell did that chick shoot herself in the kneecap effectively crippling herself for life to “show her loyalty” when she knew her and Thomas planned to escape anyway and launch that missle. Why didn’t she A. shoot Sophia in the head or B. throw the gun in the lake and say seeeee yaaaaa. I really wanted to like this show but I’m done…..
February 27th, 2011
You guys DO know that all your issues with the storyline and “basic logic” about the story area ll answered to in the show? I guess you guys couldn’t hear yourselves over the ignorant ramblings because it required you to think for a moment. Now, I know that may be asking a little too much from society these days but for fucks sake don’t ruin it for the rest of us.
February 27th, 2011
all*
March 13th, 2011
I agree with Batt.
Unfortunately people today are more interested in the shows that promote no thinking what so ever. Family Guy is a prime example, an the second someone comes out with a show that requires some thought or theories the people who don’t like to think jump on the hate wagon and bash the hell out of the show. Shows that the people above probably don’t like. Battlestar Galactica, 24, Lost, CSI, you get the picture. An if you don’t like the event but like one of these shows don’t go spouting off about me generalizing in a “HOW DARE YOU SIR” rant. Its just a waste of time.
May 2nd, 2011
It sucks and is annoying beyond belief. My god, who is writing this crap? There are so many blant, impossible in reality holes in it it’s just stupid. Not referring to the sci-fi aspects, just the simpliest workings of crime scene procedurs, air post security, etc.
It’s just plain trash.
May 7th, 2011
I totally agree with the writer of this article on this, I mean seriously, kidnapping a doctor outside a hospital and force him to remove a bullet from your boyfriends body from a grimey alley, that’s probably the biggest ‘i-got-shot-but-i-cant-call-the-cops-because-nobody-believes-us’ cliche. Are these guys for real? Almost every scene ends in a overly long fart-acting look in the camera because the editors liked the idea of an orchestral orgy while doing so. Need to lower the volume almost every time they do that. This show is filled with cliches, and the characters are like lemmings, they have no identity and just pointlessly walk around. Even when the most incredible shitstorm hits their lives, the only thing the writers could come up with is cliche hollywood ‘lets-kick-their-ass’ BS lines.
May 7th, 2011
Apart from the obvious questions of how an I.T. professional and a bland-faced valley girl suddenly develop world class martial arts skills, interrogation techniques and an endless supply of money not to mention the casual appearance of plot-lubricating easy-climb ropes and insecure jumpable fences…
…Surely if an advanced civilization had the tech to …blah blah blah… why couldn’t they GM actresses with a faces that that actually move or a good fight choreographer instead of a cameraperson with obvious Parkinson’s producing lazy shakycam akin to “fight” scenes from Bourne. A Ricockulous waste.
That said, i’ll still be watching it next week after I wash my eyes out with some old C-Grade military drama; The ; at least David Palmer is in that.
May 18th, 2011
My brother and I watch this show religiously to make fun of it MST3k style.
June 3rd, 2011
WORST SHOW I EVER WATCHED!!!!!!………………
dere’s nothing but crap in it..!!!
anyway who approved it!!!!!!
June 3rd, 2011
WORST SHOW I EVER WATCHED!!!!!!………………
dere’s nothing but crap in it..!!!
anyway who approved it!!!!!!