Wuss Fight! Billy Corgan vs. Pavement

My old reliable friend the Electrical Audio forum — which has provided me with over seven years of joy in times of depression or boredom — just introduced me to a wonderful little news item that has momentarily released me from my glumness and given me (at least for one night) blogging purpose. The best part is, this new item incorporates two of my least favorite entities in the music industry: Billy Corgan and Pavement.

Earlier this afternoon, the frowning prince himself took to Twitter (what’s that?) to “slam” the band who once recorded a song which included a cheap shot directed at Corgan’s band. The Twitter user known as @billy wrote, “Just found out [Smashing Pumpkins] is playing with Pavement in Brazil. It’s gonna be 1 of those New Orleans type funerals…I say that because they represent the death of the alternative dream, and we follow with the affirmation of life part. Funny how those who pointed the big finger of ‘sell out’ are the biggest offenders now…yawn. They have no love.”

So much to unpack in those 140×3 characters! So much to critique! Oh, where should I begin…

First, I don’t know which band should be more embarrassed about sharing a stage together. If I were in either group I would be bummed. Pavement sucks live and could be considered sell outs, but the Billy Corgan band is shameful. I suppose that, simply due to the fact that Pavement is more respected right now by critics and youngsters alike, Malkmus and Co. should be more upset than Corgan. Yet, Corgan is so irate over sharing a stage with Pavement, he whined about it on the Internet!

I read an article with Bob Nahimgonnajumparoundandkeepannoyingyou in Rolling Stone last year (see: 2nd item) about the Pavement reunion tour, but I don’t think he mentioned whether or not the Pavement reunion was solely influenced by money. That seems to be the point Corgan is trying to make. Pavement called the Pumpkins sellouts oh-so-many years ago, and yet here’s Pavement, reunited (and it feels so good!) and making boatloads of money. According to Corgan, they’re doing it wrong! You don’t tour to make money, you tour to play music for people! If his theory that Pavement only plays for money is true, Corgan’s anger is understandable. It’s also ironic (and a bit foolish) to say such a thing when you’ve previously broken up your band and then reformed it with entirely new people just because it provides you with a built-in audience for whatever awful new material you want to sell. Personally I think both bands are sellouts, so both deserve a heaping dose of mockery from misanthropes such as you and I. Then again, I call everyone a sellout.

Then there’s the quote about the death of the alternative dream. At first it reads like just another thickheaded, pompous quote from the Big Book of Billy’s Stupid Statements. Although…it kind of makes sense. An intelligent commentator on the EA forum wrote that he thinks Corgan was trying to pose the question,”Is it fair for bands that take an idealistic stance, and call out the people who took another direction, to later go back and capitalize on the very same system they were decrying?” If that’s indeed the case, he’s actually sort of right! In their original heyday, Pavement wasn’t all that gung-ho about the “indie scene.” I don’t think they took pride in existing outside the mainstream either. Hell, I don’t even think they cared. But they took a shot at Corgan and his band because they were in the mainstream, and that can be interpreted as a statement about the choice between money and independence. That would make Pavement’s reunion — and it’s potential to profit off the era during which that shot at Corgan was fired — somewhat morally questionable.

That line about the affirmation of the dream, though…I mean…is Corgan really trying to convince us that his “dream” all along was to ditch his band, fail miserably at a solo career, then tour the world with entirely different people playing old, tired tunes and trying to incorporate new atrocious crap under the same heading? I guess he also must have dreamed about the day he’d call fans who prefer Siamese Dream “fucking jerkos” in a Rolling Stone interview. Hilarious! Retarded! Oh, Billy boy…

There are two conclusions you can draw from this battle of two musical acts about whom I don’t care. The first conclusion is that they all suck, because they reek of hypocrisy and because one of the people involved happens to be Bill Corgan. The second conclusion you can draw is that I read way too much Rolling Stone for someone who can’t think of a single mainstream musician he likes.

The Battle of the wusses has commenced. You decide who wins. Can anybody win? My personal opinion is that when overpaid hacks fight, we lose.