So, the photos from Friday night’s drinking extravaganza arrived in my inbox this morning and I’m itching to share some with you. I would have liked to share more, but one friend has already cried mercy and begged me to delete various pictures from existence on the condition that if I don’t, she’ll kick my ass. Too bad. You would’ve loved ‘em.
That said, here are a few choice examples that I think epitomize the drunken shit-show that was Christmas Eve. I described on Saturday a bit of what occurred, but this should help clarify for those of you who have difficulty imagining a dozen people crawling from Los Feliz into Hollywood. It was a roving blackout. A tornado of booze-fueled kids spreading cheer wherever they traveled. Check it out:
If I had enough money to buy a holiday card to send to all my friends and family, I would want this to be the photograph on the front of the card. This is the epitome of holiday happiness.
Shaun bought us all shots at Ye Rustic Inn. I asked for Maker's but he returned with one of the foulest whiskeys I have ever tasted in my entire life. Tom approached me afterwards and asked, "Was that the worst thing you ever tasted?" I responded by saying, "Tasted? As soon as it went down I burped it back up, and now the smell is circulating in my mask!" Erin's (the girl in the picture) epic blackout started right here.
This picture is amazing for several reasons. You have Shaun's retarded face, Erin's angry face and clear frustration over not being noticed, and then you have me. The worst part of wearing the mouse mask is that I have no peripheral vision, so I can't see anything but what's right in front of me. I have no idea there's a girl grinding her ass against me. I'm just trying to figure out how to shove a bottle of beer into my mouse's mouth hole. Totally oblivious. Amazing.
This is while I was exclaiming, "Dudes! This is...like, our Abbey Road!"
After being removed from the strip club next door (stupid crowd and it's stupid "Let the mouse dance!" chant was distracting customers from the strippers, according to the club owner), our party moved to a little Thai restaurant with a live band playing karaoke jams. This proved to be a phenomenally bad -- yet equally awesome -- idea.
Here's Shaun and I singing "Sweet Caroline". Audience participation is crucial to karaoke, so I thought this would be a perfect song. It did not disappoint. Next to "Bohemian Rhapsody" (which we performed later, video still pending), this was probably the most entertaining song I sang all night. Shaun stole the show with his rendition of Weezer's "Island In The Sun" during which he *maybe* hit two notes. The rest of the song was entirely off key.
And that was Christmas Eve. I saved the really wasted pictures of friends for Facebook, because you folks most likely wouldn’t get a kick out of it. I am fully recovered now, Nicci is back in town and she returned bearing tons of amazing gifts from her family. After receiving a half-dozen gifts from her family I feel like a total asshole for not sending any gifts for her to deliver in my absence. The best gift is probably a book her father gave me called, The Complete Manual of THINGS THAT MIGHT KILL YOU, which is designed to help hypochondriacs self-diagnose themselves. Oh, and he and his wife also got me a breathalyzer. Perfect.
December 29th, 2010
In that Abby Road photo, just how many arms does that excellent-looking person at the left edge have?
December 29th, 2010
I count 3.