7 mile run this morning went pretty well! My knees and ankles are holding up alright almost two hours later so I should be good for the rest of the day. Now I’ve got Sunday and Monday “off” before the schedule resumes on Tuesday. It was my friend Dan’s birthday last week, so he’s having a party tonight in Venice that I will be attending. In anticipation of getting black-out drunk, I’m posting this week’s news stories early. Otherwise there won’t be any chance of publishing a post until tomorrow night. At least I’m being proactive…
• When I say “Thank God I’m out of college,” I mean it for a few reasons. First, I never really liked school. I was bored and uncomfortable in classrooms. I felt trapped and claustrophobic. I didn’t mind learning new skills or new information, but the setting wasn’t right for me. Second, I went to a small private liberal arts school with a bunch of upper middle class kids from Pennsylvania and New Jersey, so it was like high school all over again. Lastly, if I were still in college I might now be required to take a mandatory drug test by the institution, like students at Linn State Technical College in Missouri. That’s right, the school is a private institution, and as such they can drug test its entire student body if it wishes. This would be really cool if it were done anonymously as part of a psychological study. Remember in school they used to make us take these anonymous tests about what drugs you took or how much you drank or smoked in high school? And everyone would lie and say they were experimenting with ketamine, ayahuasca, opium and peyote? Well…at least this method would provide accurate results. I mean that as a sociological experiment. Not as a deterrent against using drugs. That’s not cool. Let the kids take their drugs in peace, Linn State Technical College! [story]
• A British defense (or defence, if we’re going to be all British about it) company has developed an “invisibility cloak” that can hide vehicles from view in the infra-red spectrum. Now if only they could port that technology into the human visual spectrum (I’m sure there’s a fancier name for it, but that’s the best I could come up with) I might finally have that old wish granted when I wanted to stalk my old high school’s women’s bathrooms unnoticed. Isn’t there something so utterly precious about high school girls pooping!? No? Fuck you. [story]
• As my quest to try five new beers each month continues (so far, so good! I’ll probably recant this quest in a year-end list come December), Isreal from The Cargo Culte has keyed me into a new brew I need to track down and taste. It’s called Chick Beer, and it’s low-carb! The six pack is designed to look like a purse! Someone else buy this for me so I don’t get my ass kicked. [story]
• You all know how much I love lists, and this one is a doozy. Live Science has published a list of 8 trendy burial alternatives. That’s right, guys, cremation and Viking funerals are totally old and busted right now. The new mainstream after-death alternatives include Resomation (having your tissues dissolved), a “Natural Burial” (no embalming, no concrete vaults, just a biodegradable casket and a natural decomposition process), you can have your body turned into a reef (what the fuck?) or you can have your ashes shot into space. Yes, that sounds awesome. I think that’s the one for me. Guys, when I die I want my ashes shot into space, okay? OH MY GOD, WAIT. NEVERMIND. MUMMIFICATION IS BACK!? Yeah, I want that instead. I know $63,000 seems like a lot, but I want to be mummified and buried in my own pyramid. Got it? Thanks. [story]
• Did I ever post about this? “The average female face?” Well, not technically the average looking woman on Earth…but some computer spat out pictures of what the “average” English, Welsh and Irish woman looks likes. They all look the same to me, but that’s because I’m staring at their crotches, not their faces. In a related story, the average woman from England, Wales or Ireland is apparently very blurry. Much like the oaked bitch I fucked the other night! [story]
Brainbombs – Wishing A Slow Death
Fun Things – Lipstick
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