On The Albino Cyclops Shark, KFC, Blog Stats & Guest Writers
• Ok guys, if you haven’t heard about the albino cyclops shark yet the only excuse you could possibly give is YOU’RE USING THE INTERNET WRONG. Quit hanging out in the Reddit “Jailbait” section and read some damned news websites. I swear to God, that shark looks like something out of a Pixar movie. Like a cross between Blinky the three-eyed fish on the Simpsons and a the cyclops character from Monsters, Inc.. This little guy was cut from the womb of his mama, and thank God the fisherman did it because odds are it wouldn’t had survived if it was birthed. Also, LOOK AT THAT FUCKING THING. It’s the weirdest creature I’ve ever seen in my life! I kind of want to buy it. Is it on eBay yet? [story]
• KFC made us all gag a little when they introduced the Double Down. A bacon sandwich with two fried chicken ends instead of a bun. Now they’ve adapted the most heinous menu item in the history of fast food (the “Famous Bowl”) to include — of course — bacon. It’s already a giant bowl filled with mashed potatoes, gravy, corn (because those all go well together — or, I guess, they all end up in the same place when you eat them in one sitting), fried chicken and cheese. Now KFC has gone and topped that with bacon and changed the name to the Bacon Bowl. I don’t even plan on eating this and I’m already depressed. [story]
• Hey, thanks to everyone who made this past week one of the most-visited in Swan Fungus history. I think. I’m not so good at the whole keeping track of stats thing, but when over 2,000 views a day extends for more than 48 hours at a time I take notice. Don’t worry, it wasn’t anything I said or did. October is always a popular month because I’ve written so many posts about Halloween costume ideas over the course of the last five or six years. See, sometimes blogging without a purpose for half a decade has its benefits. I told you there was a point to this, mom!
• Speaking of blogging, how would YOU like to be a blogger? I’m leaving these United States for dirtier pastures in the coming weeks (I’m going to India) and I’d like to try to keep the page updated each day I’m gone. So far I’ve had two people volunteer to write some posts. If you’d like to do the same, contact me privately (it’s not hard to find my e-mail / Facebook / Twitter / whatever) and I’ll set you up with an author’s account so you can blog about whatever your little heart desires while I’m gone. Hell, you could even spend four or five paragraphs writing about how I’m a piece of shit. I won’t be here to stop you. You’ve got carte blanche. This could be the writing opportunity that changes your life forever. And by “changes your life” I mean you’ll open yourself up to the wrath and scorn of all my readers, who will probably relish the opportunity to make fun of someone else for a change. Let me know.
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