On The South Pole, Aging, The Apocalypse & Other Bad Thoughts

January 21, 2012

• For those of you who are interested in either the life and music of Frank Zappa, or the history of LA’s freak scene, you should check out From Straight To Bizarre, a new documentary detailing the independent label ventures of Zappa and Herb Cohen. There’s plenty of Alice Cooper, Beefheart and Tim Buckley info in there as well if Zappa isn’t really your thing. Personally, I never really cared about Zappa until I had the opportunity to sift through some of his late manager’s archives. The guy really was a prolific musical genius. His influence stretches far beyond just the world of rock music. Check out the documentary, even if you’re not a fan, I think you’ll find it inspiring. [story]

• This week National Geographic released rare pictures from Robert Falcon Scott’s South Pole expedition. It’s hard to believe that within the last 100 years there were still places on earth left to explore. And there were hard men, explorers, who would risk their lives to do so. These days the world is full of big climatized babies who would happily spend a day in global warming hotspots than endure a little bit of cold weather. When did we get to be so soft? Not only did Scott find out that he wasn’t the fist to reach the South Pole, his entire party died on the return journey due to the extreme cold temperatures and a lack of supplies. Where the hell are the modern adventurers, the risk takers, the real men? Fuck it, I’ll go to the South Pole. You just have to pay the way. [story]

• Speaking of things that are 100 years old, there’s a genetic healthy aging test that can predict your chances of reaching the age of 100! Unfortunately for us, it’s not an online questionnaire we can fill out from the comfort of our heated homes. We’d have to go somewhere and have our DNA tested. Ugh. Really? Isn’t there a way to take a DNA sample from myself and fax it to a researching halfway across the world ? I mean, it’s 2012! We should have had flying cars by now, and all those other neat creature comforts we’ve seen on TV and in movies for the past several decades. This sucks. It’s only going to be 65 degrees in LA tomorrow. [story]

• Too bad about you not having the right genetic material to help you live to the age of 100. Even if you were one of the chosen few, odds are you wouldn’t make it anyway, because the world is going to end before then. So says WIRED magazine, which has published a list of ways the world could actually end. None of this Mayan calendar apocalypse BS (now Apocalypto, on the other hand…great movie!). These are the real down-and-dirty doomsday scenarios. Asteroid accidents, killer contagions, stuff like that. By the way, did you know that it’s an inevitability that within a billion years the way the sun converts hydrogen to helium will cause it to shine a little brighter? Like, 10 percent brighter. And that 10 percent is enough to heat earth to a temperature well over 200 F. Yeah, that’d kill everybody. So start planning for the end now, because it’s going to happen sooner than you think. Within the next billion years. [story]

• Speaking of 2012, I have a birthday this year. Once again it falls on April 25th. In case you’re wondering what to get me, this collapsible shot glass would make a great birthday present! [story]

• ”As you may your [sic] may not have heard, there has been a recent influx of ‘Strange sounds around the world’.” No, I haven’t heard that. Please tell me more about this “Earth groaning,” or whatever you want to call these instances of weird sounds that people are uploading to YouTube from around the globe. Oh right, it’s about aliens. Either that or someone is pulling a viral marketing stunt like the movie Cloverfield. Isn’t it so sad how everyone is a skeptic these days? Nobody is ever amazed by anything anymore. Take something like the Phoenix Lights, or recordings of deep ocean sounds of unknown origin. “It’s probably just Burger King doing viral marketing.” C’mon, people! Don’t be so jaded. I mean, I know anyone can use Photoshop to create a fake UFO picture, and weird camera effects can make it appear as if someone has captured an apparition…but not everything has to be viral marketing! Use your imaginations! I know it’s hard to think when you’re watching Jersey Shore, but can’t you at least lend a half thought to the notion that things happen in our world that aren’t just marketing gimmicks? [story] This is depressing.

• Congratualtions, Aaron. You won the Drinking League Fantasy Football crown and tonight you’re going to get very, very drunk when the other team owners take you out and buy you drinks. I only wish Ben Raplesberger could’ve played better (and not hurt) down the stretch. I thought I really had a chance to take the crown — and the drinks — this year. Good luck tonight, don’t puke, and I’ll see you in the finals next year.

Marie Et Les Garçons – Attitudes [MP3]

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