It’s Time To Admit The Walking Dead Sucks

October 29, 2013

The room was dark. We sat basked in the television’s warm glowing warming glow. Suddenly I noticed a bright light in my periphery. Its origin was one of my roommates. He was playing Candy Crush. It was at that moment I came to the realization that neither of us gave a shit about The Walking Dead anymore. I looked to my right and to my left, at people rolling their eyes or sighing. None of us cared. At all. After ANOTHER 60 minutes of nothing more than scenes where two people talk at each other about some nonsensical bullshit, I think it’s time we ALL admit that The Walking Dead sucks.

Which is why I was so excited to see an article on WIRED this morning titled, “I Want To Give Up Even More Than Rick Does.” Finally, I thought, fans of the show might be in agreement with me. Because it’s fucking terrible. It hasn’t been good since, maybe, the fourth episode of the first season. And yet I watch every Sunday with my roommates because it’s one of our things (like Poker Night, or Survivor, which we only watch as a household because we draw names from a hat before each season starts and the winner gets $100). The first two paragraphs of the WIRED article raised my hopes. It opens with a sentiment about fans who continue to support their favorite things (in this instance a comic book) even as they talk shit about it. Sounds kinda like The Walking Dead. I continue to watch even though I talk shit about it, sometimes throughout an episode. It’s hard not to when…

Tyreese Walking Dead Isolation

…we’re supposed to constantly suspend disbelief, like when Cutty from The Wire miraculously survives THIS dire situation without so much as a zombie scratch on him. Or when a flu outbreak and zombie intrusion occurs in the prison but NO ONE suggests sleeping with closed cell doors. Or when it is decided that those sickened by the flu need to be quarantined, but even then no cell doors are closed.

And then the reviewer for WIRED changes courses, writing, “[A]fter four years of watching the survivors shamble around in a near-constant state of trauma, it’s starting to feel like an exercise in endurance for me too. About how long I can continue to absorb this level of human misery. And about why I’m doing it: Because it’s cathartic? Because I want to see if the characters I care about survive? Or because I have to?”

Uh…I don’t know what show YOU’RE watching, but the one I see every Sunday isn’t anything like what you’re describing. It’s not human misery, it’s human stupidity. We’re three episodes into this season and literally nothing captivating has occurred. It’s all been conversations about Rick not carrying his gun, or why kids have to learn to use weapons, or how there’s a veterinary college called West Peach Tree Tech (HA!) that might have antibiotics to stop the flu outbreak. It’s as if the writers are literally picking names out of a hat to choose which two characters are going to have a one-on-one talk IN EVERY SCENE.

Last night’s episode breakdown was like this:

Glenn / Maggie
Herschel / Doctor Gupta
Herschel / Rick
Cutty / D’Angelo Barksdale
Herschel / Glenn
Herschel / Glenn / Carol / Darryl
Carol / Rick
Cutty / Rick
Rick / Carl
Darryl / Michonne
Herschel / Carl (then again out in the woods)
Carol / Little Girl
Sophia / Maggie (x2 with the baby)
Carol  / Cutty
Herschel / Maggie
Rick / Carol (juxtaposed to the least-suspenseful potential zombie attack EVER)
Darryl / Michonne / Cutty / D’Angelo Barkdale (and the aforementioned BS zombie attack)
Herschel / Glenn
Rick / Carol

That was the entire episode, scene by scene. Two people talking. No action. No excitement. It’s like this EVERY WEEK. Nothing happens. I don’t even remember the flu outbreak in the comics. Am I mis-remembering? Or is this terrible excuse for upping the stakes yet another shitty non-canon turn? This show is such a turd. If it was any worse it’d be Homeland.

Is anybody still into this? I know they’ve lost 4 million viewers from week 1 to week 3, and can only imagine it’s going to get worse the further they stray from the source material. My best guess is that maybe your viewing parties are like mine, and while six or seven people might be in the room at the same time, at least three of those people are playing Candy Crush. They’ve completely extricated themselves from the emotional connection that can form between fans of a TV show and the program itself. In the case of The Walking Dead, that bond was never solidified with me, so I guess I’m just wondering why people still care about it.

Bottom line (TL;DR) is I love the idea of depicting how brutal and hard life is for a group of people POST zombie apocalypse, but the show does a TERRIBLE job in that department. The comic does an amazing job of laying out the harsh realities and direness of the situation. The TV show has none of that nuance. Instead it feels like watching a dozen stale characters stumble around aimlessly while talking/acting like complete fools, and each episode has one or two contrived — dare i say forced — zombie encounters with no sense of real danger.

Fabio Frizzi – Zombi 2 (Track 8) [MP3]

26 comments

  1. |

    I agree completely, let it die.

  2. |

    I don’t watch much TV at all but zombies and drugs are of interest to me. Breaking Bad and TWD are the only two I watch loyally, online at that. No more Breaking Bad for me though, now there’s only TWD. TWD was fun when there’s not much to do in my life, which is often, but lately it’s not even worth the effort to watch it. I feel the show is on a downward spiral and it reminds me a lot of General Hospital, when Luke and Laura were trying to get off the island. Elizabeth Taylor was much like the Governor in that soap opera. I think I’ll wait until the show is over before I decide to finish it or maybe I’ll just do other things. As it stands for me after watching S04E05, I feel tricked/groomed into watching a stupid soap opera. I don’t want to wade through this crap to get to an action scene… it’s just not worth it.

  3. Merle Dixon's ghost
    |

    The writers need to be gathered into a room and the ones who even hint at disputing the fact that a Honey Booboo marathon is more eventful than 4th season has been need to be fired on the spot.

  4. |

    i download and watch it. but the writing really sucks.

    Rick has become super-annoying. always looking into the cam as if he was stoned.

    Glenn NEEDS TO DIE. this douchebag wouldnt even hug his girlie just because he thought she got raped and is now “dirtied” or something… inexcuseable. hope he gets eating alive from the foot up by a zombie and his chick gets a better man (and a bigger cock).

    Merle was killed way too soon, he was the coolest character in the show. what a waste of talent!

    the ending of Season 3 sucked so much. the Governor just going ape on his own men shooting everybody. and before that… the LAME assault at the prison. I didn’t even see 1 guy die there, so why did they flee in the first place.

    Also, the trap was too boring, they should have boobie trapped the doors with grenades… the HAD grenades after all. total lame walking around in the prison.

  5. |

    Yes, it sucks. The story is so stale, always wasting a full season stuck in some dreary place, when there is a whole world out there to explore. There are so many options for the story and do is have gun fighting violence.
    There are citys with stores full of supplies, tanks full of gas, parking lots full of new vehicles. All then need is diesel generator and they could have electricy for ever.

    They should have a mix of people with different talents… the tech wizard, the mechanic, the sexy lady , the greedy guy, the psyco, ….

    But no,… pick one warn out leader and all take orders from him like a bunch of sheep. Then try to make the story about two gangs fighting for some grey diseased prison out in nowhere land.

  6. |

    fuck you, the walken dead rocks

  7. |

    No sentence is more than five words long.
    Can we dig a moat around the jail? Maybe fire?
    Can someone please kill the Governor?
    Is the whole show going to be in Hicksville Georgia?

    The ending of the show should happen next Sunday. Here it is. I am writing it for you right now.

    The group decides to pack up and drive out of Georgia. Someone says “Let’s get outta here. We need to leave.” (see issue #1).Once they get to the Georgia border they see a wall with a huge monitored gate. The military is there and explains that the outbreak is only in Georgia and they quarantined off the state. Due to lack of government funding they could not search the whole state for survivors. The reason they were not getting any signals was because they were too far in the middle of the state to pick up radio signals. A government official ask why they have not tried to leave the state until now.

    They say, “We didn’t know we could.” (see issue #1)
    The group does not have a good answer so the government official orders them to be shot for stupidity. Lower lights roll credits…….

  8. |

    I’ve watched the first two seasons of the Walking Dead, and it is one of the most boring shows I’ve ever seen. There doesn’t seem to be a plot (so it’s not a plot drama), and the character development is practically non-existent (so it’s not a character drama). What is it, then? Extremely dull.

  9. |

    Fuck wd, its a lame ass show. Like you said. First 4 episodes of season 1 then all shit turned into talking about each others feelings

    Walking dead, fuck it

  10. |

    This show is dead. I am planning to take it off my DVR schedule. I’ll just watch them later on Netflix…if I care enough to. The first season was amazing…high production values, believable characters who behaved as one might expect, with just enough humor and mystery. Now, we have a chick with a samurai sword, a laughably cliche bad guy with an eye patch who looks like he came from a bad 1980s TV series, cost-cutting production values and repetitive environments, and not a hint of humor or rationality or mystery.

  11. |

    Everyone needs to chill and stop cursing. Everyone has their own opinion. Some people like it, some people don’t. Everything that is made and created isn’t for everyone. I love the Walking dead, My sister thinks it’s something not for her. This show brings entertainment to some people and others it don’t. Everyone just needs to accept that fact. Thank you

  12. Andrew Fantegrossi
    |

    The Walking Dead is a show for a specific audience. People who can sit through a drama and watch things roll out with detail.

  13. Wi
    |

    its an absolutely terrible show…therefore I dont watch it.

    Yet you, who also knows it sucks…still watch it? are you fucking retarded? you want people to be in agreement of you but if theyre still watching it like you then it’ll make no difference. fucking moron.

  14. |

    The Walking Dead is the new Battlestar Galactica. Both shows have these intriguing exodus-based premises — marred by writing, characters and acting that are plain insufferable for intelligent adults.

  15. |

    I tried many to watch it-mainly because my little brother insisted that I did.
    I blame my brother for wasting my time.
    I rather watch resident evil and cut out all that stupid unnecessary drama that has no driving plot behind it.

  16. Lexis Nolen
    |

    How could you say that? I think that the walking dead is awesome!! Yes sometimes they are sooooo boring,I have to admit. But my opinion is that it is the best show ever!!

  17. |

    writers are undergoing depression. they dont know what they want. i blame writers. shitless cunts. they dont even know where this is going.

  18. |

    HAHAHA you suck, the walking dead is was an still is a comic, they stay truthful to it, AND FACE THE FACTS TWD IS THE TOP CABLE TV SHOW IN THE WORLD IT DOESNT SUCK.

  19. LMAO
    |

    Notice that everyone criticising the show has intelligent grammar and sentence structure, while those defending it type like they are 7 years old. Coincidence? Definitely not. “Hurt durr it’s good bcuz zombeez!!!11!”

  20. |

    Cheap ass producers. Spend a few bucks and rent some concrete. Enough with this walking around in the woods day in and day out. This SUCKS Please tell me it gets better.

  21. |

    When do the zombies finally rot away to nothing??? I mean they are overdue right???

  22. |

    The best serie ever

  23. dustee dawg
    |

    The show sucks BC they get rid of the best characters that carried any weight…..Merl, Shane, dale, Andrea, Beth, season four governor when he was kinda good… I looooved the show at first but it’s getting very boring…. sadly this will probably be my last season.

  24. […] tho I’d never watched it before the series 5 premiere I am now stuck in the same purgatory as this author relates in the first paragraph.  I watch it because…  because… are there subliminals […]

  25. |

    if you don’t like it, just Don’t see it!, That’s it

  26. |

    So, I say this as a huge fan of Robert Kirkman’s works–I was introduced to The Walking Dead comics about 4 years ago, but before that point I was huge into The Astounding Wolf-Man (yeah, it’s as cheesy as it sounds), and I had started getting into Invincible–which was just strange. Even so, when I found out about The Walking Dead comics, I wound up blowing a ton of cash on trades–I went from volume 1 to volume 15 in about three weeks and loved every second of it. The writing was superb, the art was dreary but well-defined, the characters were ALIVE.

    Then I watched the TV show. If you’re a fan of the show, that’s good for you, but I must ask you this: the comics are of superior quality, the game by Telltale is over superior quality, why are you watching this garbage? The action is pathetic, the writing is awful, the characters are terrible, the acting is hilariously bad, and I honestly can’t get pumped to watch it.

    With that said, my words will not dissuade any who are fans of the show, but they may encourage someone to check out the comics. So, I could spend hours bitching about how much I hate the show, however, my knowledge on it isn’t recent: I’ve seen all of the first season and about half of the second, and then I gave up. I’m sorry, I don’t like it, and I have no interest in giving a show I cannot stand ratings. Vote with your wallet, vote with your time. Don’t watch this garbage if you hate it–it’s as simple as that. That’s what I did, and I haven’t looked back.

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