Life Changes. Maybe.
Remember 2005? I sure do! For lots of reasons, of course, but also because that was when I launched this blog. It happened during the second semester of my senior year in college. We’re coming up on nine years of active almost-daily blogging next month. Yes, there will be a shift in how this thing operates come next month — at least for the foreseeable future — but that’s another conversation for another day. My point about 2005 and the early days of this website is that sometimes I forget it started as a reflexive exercise. I was taking an honors seminar and trying to get a fledgling music ‘zine off the ground with three people I barely knew. Part of that seminar involved a project — kind of like a miniature dissertation — where I would write weekly journal entries about the process of writing music reviews and editing other writers. I liked the idea of that journal, and thought I should expand it into something bigger that could follow me through the last semester of college and then out into the world. The first step of that process was to chronicle the cross country trip I took in lieu of receiving my diploma and shaking the college president’s hand. The second step was to pen daily updates detailing the process of transcribing, writing, editing and pitching the still-unpublished (thanks, world!) book that resulted from said trip.
Then, somehow, a string of bad dates and relationships, some borderline sociopathic posts about Gail Simmons, and a lot of inconsequential rants about the news media, bands I don’t like, stuff I DO like, more awkward dates, some misguided misogyny, a lot of MP3 downloads, and hundreds of useless lists. The self-reflexive stuff took a back seat to food reviews, drunk hookup stories, and record reviews copied from Wikipedia or Prog Archives.
But there’s a lot happening now in my life that I feel might necessitate a return to the premise which began this website. I think at this point I’d rather be objectively looking at the goings on in my life. There are writing and editing jobs I could be scrutinizing. I’m trying to put out another — way more ambitious — record, and that experience is teaching me a lot about the ups and downs of this hobby/business. Some friends an I are in the process of trying to produce…well…something, and that is also a new foray for me. These are the strings that make up the fabric of my everyday life and I could easily be pulling and examining them. Just as easily as I could be BS-ing my way through another useless post about, I don’t know, idiots who think they’ve seen a UFO.
I had a job interview today. Just the idea of it is hard to wrap my head around. I’ve worked for the same company in the same field pretty much since I moved to Los Angeles in 2007. It almost feels a little disconcerting that after this long I would consider moving on from my job, but sometimes opportunities present themselves and I would be foolish not to at least try and sneak a peak at what’s behind another door. I guess what it boils down to is…how much more can I possibly grow in my current role for my current employers, and what is the potential for growth elsewhere? Which position increases the likelihood that I can make a good living in the future? Which one brings me closer to my life’s goals? Even if at first glance it’s a wash — and neither option presents a clearcut path to wealth and success – which of the two comes closer to that ideal? Right now I can’t say there is a definitive favorite. To take the new job and shift courses right now would be leveraging my current lifestyle (by no means well off, but making enough to live with a certain degree of comfortability) against a future in which I make less, but am on a track that could lead me to make much more. I’m not going to lie. If I’m officially presented with the choice, it will be a tough call.
Life changes. Maybe. I’ve only ever worked for two companies in my life. Both of those were in a similar industry (retail…ish), and those tenures rewarded me perspective…but at the end of the day it’s still just one industry, and a limited perspective. Perhaps the change in culture that comes with changing careers will expand my horizons. I don’t know. I won’t know until it comes time to make a decision (again, that is if I’m given the opportunity to even make a decision). All I know is, what I’m doing right now is unsustainable and impermanent. At some point I have to make a move. Whether or not the time is now is what I have to grapple with for the next five or six days, or until I hear otherwise.
Slowdive – Some Velvet Morning (Hazlewood/Sinatra) [MP3]
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