31 Candles

April 26, 2014
  • 31 Candles

I’ll be celebrating my birthday this evening with some friends at a local watering hole. I’d say I’m excited, but part of me worries that for the first time in a few years I won’t have a family member or significant other to monitor my drinking prowess. Not that I can’t keep my imbibing in check on my own, but…you know…if 30 people show up and they all approach me with a shot of whiskey (as has happened in the past) it’s nice to have someone(s) to pawn those celebratory drinks off on. And, at my age, the last thing I need is to blackout until 5am in the morning when I realize I’ve been competing in a beer pong competition in my kitchen, or hovering over a giant pile of white powder in a room I don’t recognize. Not that either of those situations has ever arisen following a birthday party or anything…

I’ve had my mom in town for the past week (she departed for Jersey this morning) so I’ve been quite busy for the past five or six days. Don’t worry, I’ve eaten well the entire time she was in town. And I scored a pair of Italian snake skin loafers for my birthday, so that was cool!

Now that I’m official 31 years old, let’s take stock of where I am with my life, shall we? This ought to be an entertaining fifteen seconds for you:

  • I’m 31.
  • I have a job, and it pays the bills and it pays my current rent, but it’s not quite enough to feel comfortable or happy. In fact on my lunch break today I was reading an article about Joan Rivers’ writers went on strike because they felt they were underpaid for the 35-40 hours a week they spent doing their jobs. I was totally on board with the writers until I read how much they were making, and then I thought, “Wait, these people make more than I do!” After that, they just sounded like entitled assholes to me.
  • I still live in the same house with the same roommates as I have for the past three years. Sure, I’ve moved from the downstairs room up to the master bedroom, but I’m still forced to live in a house with three other people to keep costs down to a manageable amount. What’s more, it’s not even the same three people. Most of my roommates have come and gone and matured and moved on with their lives, while I’m the only constant in a revolving door of new faces in a house in a city that is 3,000 from the people who care most about me.
  • I don’t appear to be on any real career path (at least…that I can discern) and feel ill-equipped to try. I’m gonna stop here because this is too depressing right now.

If that overshare-y “FOREVER ALONE” drivel is not reason enough to drink tonight, I don’t know what is.

At least I’ve got these cool snake skin loafers…

Mark Lanegan – Wish You Well [MP3]

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