Swan Fungus | top chef
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top chef

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    December 29, 2010

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    Jesus. I have to post my list of the top 100 albums of 2010 on Friday and I haven’t even really started yet. I guess I’m just waiting for the day when computers become self-aware and start to think and act for themselves. Maybe then Swan Fungus will learn how to write its own lists, and I can just sit back and drink […]

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    September 9, 2010

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    Folks, last night I found myself in a precarious situation. No, I was not caught drinking and driving. I was not accused of lying to my girlfriend. I, [redacted], actually found myself having to defend Gail Simmons — The Most Beautiful Woman In Television™ — from an army (two people) of detractors. These “haters” had the gall to state that Padma Lakshmi has […]

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    June 19, 2010

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    Yeah, that’s right. I dressed up as a fake cow and got a handjob from Gail Simmons the other day in Aspen. She had no idea it was me in disguise. In a related story, I’m still waiting for that restraining order to arrive in the mail any day now. Even though I’ve never met Gail (and I don’t intend to), I imagine […]

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    June 15, 2010

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    I fully planned on sleeping in today. I found a new type of logic game (Hidato) at the bookstore the other day while looking for a good Sudoku book, and puzzled myself to sleep last night. I got a call from Evan shortly after 9, telling me to get my butt out of bed because he spotted a giant Top Chef truck on […]

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    April 22, 2010

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    Ian sent me this Gothamist article today along with some choice statistics. “The NYC Department of Health and Mental Hygiene is concerned after a report suggests that woman aren’t practicing safe sex habits: ‘More than 100,000 New York City women engage in anal intercourse each year, according to a new report from the Health Department, and many are not taking the steps needed to […]

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    January 12, 2010

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    I do not hide the fact that I enjoy the Top Chef television program. This can be hard for people to understand because they know that for 24 years I felt great disdain for food. I simply did not like food. Then I started watching Top Chef. Then I met Nicci. Now I love food. To celebrate our two-year anniversary, I decided to take […]

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    December 3, 2009

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    Why I Love Thursday Klawchats on ESPN’s Website So, uh, apparently I was mentioned in a story on a website called Boing Boing today. I’ve spent the last two hours cleaning out my inbox. A lot of hate mail and scathing comments. I guess I’m happy about the fact that more people are being turned onto WFMU’s website, but I would have thought my […]