Radio silence – at least in Swan Fungus lore – is typically a sign of bad news. Lucky for you (and me!) this most recent stretch of noiselessness was due to my traveling back East for Thanksgiving. I was able to take a nice long break from life in LA before a new work gig starts up on Monday to spend time with family and friends. There’s a lot to share from my adventures but I’ll begin with the easiest (and most visually arresting) day of adventure: Thanksgiving.
In all likelihood you read this posts and immediately forget anything that is not music related. You probably forgot about how last year when I went back to New Jersey my mother announced she is “too old” to cook Thanksgiving dinner, and would never do so again. We ended up at a local fine-dining establishment last year. It was quite formal, thus it sucked most of the fun out of the holiday. I wanted nothing more than to lounge around in my pajamas all day drinking beer and watching football this year, so I offered to help my mother with the cooking. After a tiny bit of consternation she consented, and we settled on the following menu:
- Slow-Cooker Spiced Sweet Potato And Carrot Mash
- Over-The-Top Creamed Brussels Sprouts Gratin
- Mom’s Famous Stuffing (I think this one might require a “Cook Your Way To The Bone Zone” entry soon)
- Oven-Roasted Turkey Breast (the only diners with my mother, sister and I so we went small this year on the turkey)
- Beecher’s “World’s Best” Mac & Cheese
- Cranberry Sauce (I could give a fuck about Cranberry sauce so I didn’t touch this one)
For the past year I have been experimenting with Snapchat as a medium for artistic expression (mostly finding ways to put giant emoji eggplant dicks on everything I see) so it seemed like the most natural vehicle for detailing the Thanksgiving dinner preparation. Here then is a series of “snaps” taken during my stint as Chef de cuisine, which have been annotated for no other reason than to appear low-functioning:
I’ll also update with libations consumed in the kitchen. The day started with Allagash Nancy.
Next out of the fridge and into my belly was Prairie Artisin Ales’ 3rd Anniversary Ale.
A little check-in on the progress of the sweet potatoes and carrots, which spent about 7 hours in the slow cooker. Then it was time to try out Newburgh Brewing Company’s collaboration with Plan Bee Farm Brewery, “Cross-Pollination.”
Pardon the improper glassware.
The mac and cheese required a roux, which is typically a disqualifier when it comes to recipes for me. I only own so many pots and pans, and when I’m mostly cooking for myself I don’t have the energy to follow too many steps. Alas, I gave it a shot here and I think the results were good. You’ll see.
I don’t know why we elected to use elbows in the macaroni as opposed to penne. My best guess? No one had phone service in the super market so we had to guess what pasta was called for.
And here’s my “signature dish,” in its completed form. Signature included for effect.
As the meal was starting to come together I decided to attempt a side-by-side tasting of Prairie Artisan Ales’ “Christmas Bomb!” and “Birthday Bomb!” which lasted through the meal.
We are not religious. And yet I felt the need to praise the plate.
In spite of all the help I provided this year, next year our tentative plan is to have a “destination Thanksgiving,” which is basically my mother’s way of saying she’ll bribe me with a plane ticket so long as she does not have to cook. Well played, mom. Well played.
How was your Thanksgiving, dear reader?
The Men – Dreamer [MP3]
